As I sit here and shiver and pray this heater hurries up and does its job, I am appalled with the knowledge of just how bad the English language has been dumb down.
I had a client who - I was just horrified - didn’t like the words - multitude, plethora or even privy. Instead of privy, I had to rewrite the sentence to say “has information to” 1 to 3 words. With plethora and multitude I had to write “all kinds” 1 to 2 words. I know I went to journalism school, being taught to say something quickly to keep readers interested. So, to expand words based on jargon is just killing me.
He is marketing his website as a business that helps other websites in search engine rankings. He doesn’t want to sound - as he said it - like a used car salesman. I think words like plethora and multitude and even privy make him sound - Oh I don’t know - a little high quality. Don’t care about the 2.5 to 2.7 feedback left - I think I just bombed his “Not Recommended” review with my review back.
Oh and idioms - the buyer didn’t like idioms - he said he hates the phrase “brick and mortar” and would rather use “offline world.” In the sentence I wrote, offline world sounded just DUMB. Brick and mortar sounded - hmm, I don’t know - professional. Just my honest opinion!
Another thing about this buyer is the inability to realize his mistake on file corrections (I have to explain this, as it’s even funnier than my above mentioning). He sent the revision request with a file that said MY NOTES. Great! I open it and realize, “Wait a second.” This doesn’t offer any corrections - it’s a completed file with no corrections. However, it’s on a 2015 order. Yes, 2015 folks!
I go on to explain this in a message and didn’t hear anything from him for 30 minutes. I was like okay - time is ticking down - I’ve got to get this file done before heading out to work. So, in his message about the revision and file, he did make some notes. I made corrections - did my own rechecking and rephrased something a little better now that I read it again (it can happen every now and then), and sent back my file.
Suddenly, I’m ignoring his file corrections changes - for 10 minutes; we go back and forth before the “LIGHT” appears above his head, “oops, my bad - wrong file.” Umm. YOU THINK?! (No wonder he wants the dumbing down of the English language - unprofessional to say “MY BAD” - not I apologize or anything to the like).
Now, I’m a mind reader. This is where I notice he’s not liking those big words. When I asked for clarification on a paragraph, he ignored it. Since it was a little redundant anyways, I removed it. He was adamant it wasn’t - it really was - and that he wanted it back in but didn’t explain again, so I did it the best I could. If you can’t get the buyer to clarify what something is trying to say, you become a mind reader folks!
At 3:30 a.m. I’ve already decided that this buyer and I will no longer work together and I need a day off away from my computer. And, I had just gotten up at 3 a.m.
Yes, folks… it’s the $5 order kind… and I shudder to think what the English language and world are coming to.