Fiverr Forum

Gather around kids, it's story time


#1

Right now I’m at work taking a break.
Am feeling a bit bored. I’ll work on an illustration gig tonight when I get back home.

My coworker walked in my booth so I told him I was bored and I asked him to tell me a story.
This is what he told me:

"Once upon a time, there was me.
I was awesome and everything was fantastic.
I lived happily ever after on a huge mountain of cash, surrounded by the coolest people.

The end."

…yeah, it did entertain me for 10 seconds.

Feel free to share your “short stories” here. :laughing:


#2

He wrapped his masculine arms around her tiny waist and leaned in slowly to kiss her softly. A light breeze ruffled through her hair and she felt a chill down the small of her back. She pressed in against his chest. She could hear his heart beating or perhaps it was hers.

He put his head next to hers and whispered, “I love you -”

“No, I can’t.” She unsuccessfully tried to push him away. Turned her head to the left and started to sob.

“I can’t stand to see you hurt. I shall leave.” He made no attempt to let go of her.

Unexpectedly, she grabbed him, and tore . . .

OOPS! Did you say you wanted a kid’s story? My bad! :wink: :laughing:


#3

LOL…that was good!


#5

It was a bright sunny morning in the Hills Forest shopping complex, Mike was a young lad on a walk with his grandpa. Mike looked up to discover the local candy shop had misspelled a word on their storefront sign. “Grandpa” asked Mike, Why does the candy shop have a spelling error in its sign? It read,“Canndy.” Instead of “Candy.” Well my little boy, why don’t you ask them for yourself? Mike opens the door to the Candy shop and a tall handsome man is standing there with a marker and writes down the letter “49.” Mike asks: "Why do you have a spelling error in your store sign outside? The man answers: “You see, lately it’s been fairly quite here, so we decided to misspell the words. It has really paid off - 49 people came in today to notify us about that…!” Good Night!

:bulb: Joe


#6

…open the wrapper on a kit-kat bar. “You want some, she asked, with a glint in her eye. I know how much you love chocolate.”


#7

Hahaahahaahaha :laughing:


#8

My story is a real story. I woke up and before I could get up, I got a sleep paralysis. I hated it coz I had to try hard to wake up. It was quite scary.

Alright now I´m off to get my coffee and then feed the pups.


#9

@jonbaas LOL



#10

his pectoral muscles! :scream: He shrieked! He shouldn’t have been bench-pressing 450lbs!



#11

I read it a while back somewhere and loved it…

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up the remaining open areas of the jar.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, or fix the disposal.”

“Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”


#12

Technically, it is a story about how a kid was born, so it’s a kid’s story alright.


#13

You almost made me fall off my chair…and die there on the floor from laughing too much…


#14

For all intents and purposes, Sarah Mildew was a perfectly normal young woman. She worked in an office, finished at 5 pm on a Friday, and spent the weekend partying with the girls, before visiting her grandparents for dinner on Sunday.

However, Sarah wasn’t completely normal. This was because every night at around 2 am, Sarah would be attacked in her bed by an army of small flat cheese people.

Where the cheese people had come from, or how they had gotten into her apartment, Sarah wasn’t really sure. At one point, she had suspected that they had evolved from a GMO Dairylea segment which had fallen behind the cooker one day. The only problem was that Sarah had pulled the cooker out once, and there was the slice, still intact where it was supposed to be.

What Sarah did know, though, was why the small cheese people attacked her.

“We are here,” their 5cm tall Cheshire Cheese ringleader had announced one day as he kicked down the bedroom door, “to seek revenge on behalf of all of our brethren whom you have so gratuitously consumed over the course of your gluttonous lifetime!”

And so, at 2 am every morning, the assault would start. A contingent of American cheese slices would hold her down, while their Cheshire Cheese ringleader and a militia of Cheddar Cheese soldiers would pour hot fondue over her. Then a barrage of Philadelphia coated breadstick missiles would reign down on her, followed by a vicious beating by a rotund block Blue Stilton.

Needless to say, Sarah’s morning ablutions often took much longer than most peoples. However, after washing dried fondue out of her hair and masking her blue stilton bruises with foundation, Sarah was able to lead something of an ordinary life. After all, what choice did she have? Who in the world would ever believe her story, even if she did sometimes smell like ricotta and camembert?

One day, however, Sarah finally decided that she had had enough. As a final act of defiance she, therefore, left work early one Thursday afternoon, bought an electric blanket from Home Depot, and installed it secretly under her mattress cover.

Sarah’s idea was simple. While her 2 am assailants were relatively viscous and solid at room temperature, they would surely suffer liquefaction should she turn the heat up.

And so as 2 am approached, Sarah snuggled quietly beneath the covers, waiting as usual for her her bedspread to be ripped away by her Cheshire Cheese nemesis’s Parmesan foot soldiers.

“Argghhh!” Then came the expected warcry as the Parmesan brutes arrived right on schedule. This time, however, Sarah didn’t resist as the American cheese slices began sticking her to her bedsheets. Instead, she simply flicked the electric blanket control and stared defiantly as Mr. Cheshire Cheese himself stood upon her bosom and began pelting her around the face with a rugged slice of Dutch gouda.

Of course, the cheese peoples beating was as savage as always. Sarah knew, however, that the element of surprise was the only thing going in her favor. Then, just as the cruel Babybel cheese Sarah feared worst of all started screaming obscenities into her ear, she realized that her plan was working!

The American cheese slices holding her down had been slowly reduced into just goo, while even Mr. Cheshire Cheese himself was starting to liquefy on top of her.

“What have you done?” He screamed as Sarah jumped up and began bundling her electric blanket around the remaining cheese army in order to contain them as they melted into just gloop.

“I’ve won!” Sarah shouted back, smearing fondue over her face like Amazonian warpaint. - And Sarah had won. Where before there had been only blue veined misery and hopelessness, there was now just a cheese ruined electric blanket ready and waiting to be deposited in her apartment building’s incinerator.

That was until Sarah heard the dreadful tread of something even worse than vigilante cheese in the corridor behind her,

“So,” jabbed the gruff voice of a remorseless and stupendously oversized Ritz Cracker as it rolled into view through Sarah’s bedroom doorway. “You really think this is over do you?”


#15

F- see me in my office

You feta believe this isn’t over yet…


#16

I don’t mind getting attacked by cheese. I love cheese. I’ll place a sticky rice rug around my bed so I can catch the entire cheese army without making a mess. Then I’ll invite my friends over and enjoy a nice feast :stuck_out_tongue:


#17

@saddu_writer That´s a very powerful message in that story. Me likes :slight_smile:


#18

Patchy…


#19

You already have the jar, rocks and sand, just put some water and add a fis…nope. Never mind.

I hope Fiverr sellers like ‘behind the gif’ stories :

Gather around, kids…


#20

@silkroute Best story! Super cute! :joy:


#21

Attribution goes to artist Kat Swenski.