Hey You--Are You A Fat Freelance Slob Shovelling Junk Food Into Your Mouth?

[emmaki]

Then it’s time to join the Fiverr Weight Loss Club (And Get Into The Blog And Mek Sells, Complicating Your Dedication To Weight Loss).

I am still working on a catchier title than this. Anyway, before you shriek with outrage that I’ve just called you a wobbling mass of greedy fat, stop. I am, too! I put more cheese on my store bought pizza because I like cheese.

I’m also getting a little bit flabby, and having to consider purchasing larger clothes to comfortably wear this summer. Or, being a cheapskate, I can just eat less crap and more rabbit food, pretend I love exercise and do all that stuff instead.

Writer, dealing with your comment on another thread, yes, I know my nutrition. There’s virtually no junk food here, I’m just too busy/lazy to cook properly. [EDIT: now I read it, you do know that weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise? That’s wut the gurus say–as do I when I write their words of wisdom for them–truely, it is recieved wisdom. Maybe it’s in the macros, but whatever]

So, I say starting in March, Fiverr Fatsos can unite and become “doers” (ugh–but hey, let’s remember the blog spot). So sign up here. It’s time to slim and sexy.

Before and after photos not mandatory, but you know that the blog will eat that shit right up. So, your call. Good news is that it’s generally acceptable to cover your face in the online world of weightloss, so if you do want to maximize your chances… get that flab out.

Thin, beautiful people: just you wait until your metabolism goes and/or your country gets the western lifestyle.

Anyway. I announce this to be the official post. Join if ye will. No money required, No weird competitions, no shitty campaigns on social media. Just… whatever. Let’s be the fittest, most svelte freelancers on the planet.

But not now. Next week.

[writer99025]

LOL…one of your best 😃

[emmaki]

LOL…one of your best 😃

You’re the one who is constantly talking about it! This is the accountability post for all inner sex gods and goddesses with great beach bodies to emerge from their outer fat layer.

Plus, we can share healthy recipes and all that other shit that people do on these threads. While making money. And being in the Fiverr blog. With tpyos.

[writer99025]

Yeah, I had started working out in December as that was a lean period for me, then in Jan and Feb got a lot of orders and had to stop it for a while. Hope to start again in March. This time, it will be permanent.

[emmaki]

Yeah, I had started working out in December as that was a lean period for me, then in Jan and Feb got a lot of orders and had to stop it for a while. Hope to start again in March. This time, it will be permanent.

Yes, and this post can be a place to work out freelancer-specific strategies for maintaining a healthy lifestyle (exercise, food etc) when you get a buttload of orders that make you call the pizza center. Or slap some cheese in an untoasted single slice of bread and call it “lunch”.

[eoinfinnegan]

I really like this idea but would suggest that we open it up to be more about health/fitness rather than purely weight loss. You can all hate me if you want but I don’t really put on weight (yes, I am one of THOSE) but my level of fitness has plummeted to an all time low and I could do with the incentive/comradery/accountability. My diet has also one downhill so will need to work on that too!

[Anna]

You crack me up Emma . Will you start with your “before” picture?

Just kidding of course 😉

[writer99025]

I really like this idea but would suggest that we open it up to be more about health/fitness rather than purely weight loss. You can all hate me if you want but I don’t really put on weight (yes, I am one of THOSE) but my level of fitness has plummeted to an all time low and I could do with the incentive/comradery/accountability. My diet has also one downhill so will need to work on that too!

Start running, join a gym, start lifting weights, all the best.

[leahemme]

I’ve definitely gained weight the past 2 years since I started freelancing-- ughhhhh!
Definitely a top-rated junk food shoveller over here.
March sounds good, I’d love to hear tips from peeps. My birthday is Feb 27th, so thankfully I can indulge before the guilt sets in hehe

[eoinfinnegan]

Start running, join a gym, start lifting weights, all the best.

Running is just so boring though and I struggle with gyms - well, the people in gyms mainly.

[writer99025]

Running is just so boring though and I struggle with gyms - well, the people in gyms mainly.

Build your own home gym…all you need is a bunch of dumbbells, an exercise bench and a barbell with a range of weights to add. I’ve had a home gym for years now, complete with treadmill and everything, then I started writing on Fiverr and forgot all about it.

[psychicbunny]

I’m here because I said yes to the title 🙂 I’m skinny but I love food

[emmaki]

@eoinfinnegan, you are hereby banned from the unhappy flab club for being a thin person. Although I find your suggestion to be quite disgustingly reasonable. I will leave this as-is for 24 hours to let my fellow prospective Jabbas emerge out of the pork belly of denial and elasticated wastebands we’ve been sharing and then amend the OP to something a bit less clickbaity.

It would only be fair if I started the “I’m not pregnant, but get a load of this!” pictures, Anna!

You don’t need a home gym writer, there are plenty of bodyweights (using your own body weight) programs out there. I did a Canadian one once. Can’t remember what it’s called now, but it was very effective. However, I am also desparately out of shape so all exercise is going to be a nightmare of hyperventilating with despair for me for a week or two.

And yes, running is boring. Plus, no sports bra = boobs everywhere.

EDIT: THIN PEOPLE VERBOTEN. GO MAKE YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL BLOGBAIT GROUP!

[Anna]

@eoinfinnegan, you are hereby banned from the unhappy flab club for being a thin person. Although I find your suggestion to be quite disgustingly reasonable. I will leave this as-is for 24 hours to let my fellow prospective Jabbas emerge out of the pork belly of denial and elasticated wastebands we’ve been sharing and then amend the OP to something a bit less clickbaity.

It would only be fair if I started the “I’m not pregnant, but get a load of this!” pictures, Anna!

You don’t need a home gym writer, there are plenty of bodyweights (using your own body weight) programs out there. I did a Canadian one once. Can’t remember what it’s called now, but it was very effective. However, I am also desparately out of shape so all exercise is going to be a nightmare of hyperventilating with despair for me for a week or two.

And yes, running is boring. Plus, no sports bra = boobs everywhere.

EDIT: THIN PEOPLE VERBOTEN. GO MAKE YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL BLOGBAIT GROUP!

running is boring. Plus, no sports bra = boobs everywhere.

😂

Get yourself a dog 🐕

[emmaki]

Also, in a badge bid, I am going to like all posts regardless of content. So let’s try to make 50 posts a day here, get this on the blog AND lose weight AND get a metric ftonne of orders in the process.So, fatsos, let’s be real losers, or something. Again, I need time to come up with a less shitty slogan.

I have a dog. He is also fat!

[eoinfinnegan]

Build your own home gym…all you need is a bunch of dumbbells, an exercise bench and a barbell with a range of weights to add. I’ve had a home gym for years now, complete with treadmill and everything, then I started writing on Fiverr and forgot all about it.

Yet another reason for me to come over and be your cleaner/cook.

@emmaki come on, please let me in - look at what we have in common; we agree that running is boring/a pain (albeit for different reasons).

[Anna]

Also, in a badge bid, I am going to like all posts regardless of content. So let’s try to make 50 posts a day here, get this on the blog AND lose weight AND get a metric ftonne of orders in the process.So, fatsos, let’s be real losers, or something. Again, I need time to come up with a less shitty slogan.

I have a dog. He is also fat!

I have a dog. He is also fat!

😂

Well I will pretend to have Schwimmringe so that I won’t get banned from this thread. 😇

[emmaki]

Yet another reason for me to come over and be your cleaner/cook.

@emmaki come on, please let me in - look at what we have in common; we agree that running is boring/a pain (albeit for different reasons).

This is an open group, Eoin, so I will tolerate the likes of you, You could devote the next week to eating ungodly amounts of food and porking out though, just to join in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be featured as a lifestyle and health doer in the Fiverr blog. (this will require some selective editing though)

[emmaki]

I have a dog. He is also fat!

😂

Well I will pretend to have Schwimmringe so that I won’t get banned from this thread. 😇

Schwimmringe

lol. I don’t think I need to translate that, but it’s a good term!

[eoinfinnegan]

This is an open group, Eoin, so I will tolerate the likes of you, You could devote the next week to eating ungodly amounts of food and porking out though, just to join in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be featured as a lifestyle and health doer in the Fiverr blog. (this will require some selective editing though)

Prepare to hate me even more - I literally cannot put on weight. At one point a couple of years ago I was ridiculously cramming 4000-5000 unhealthy calories per day to try put on weight and never gained more than a 2-3 pounds. I did that diet for 6 weeks before I decided it was ridiculous and not gonna work.

[emmaki]

Prepare to hate me even more - I literally cannot put on weight. At one point a couple of years ago I was ridiculously cramming 4000-5000 unhealthy calories per day to try put on weight and never gained more than a 2-3 pounds. I did that diet for 6 weeks before I decided it was ridiculous and not gonna work.

I’m more disgusted that you didn’t start a YT channel showcasing your alien metabolism… what was the name of that channel? They did really macho stupidly hugely calorific foodstuff. The lead guy had a manly beard and it was all food like meatzza and stuff. Delicious food that would transform me into a blob. Life isn’t fair!

[writer99025]

Yet another reason for me to come over and be your cleaner/cook.

@emmaki come on, please let me in - look at what we have in common; we agree that running is boring/a pain (albeit for different reasons).

That’s a very good point.

[eoinfinnegan]

I’m more disgusted that you didn’t start a YT channel showcasing your alien metabolism… what was the name of that channel? They did really macho stupidly hugely calorific foodstuff. The lead guy had a manly beard and it was all food like meatzza and stuff. Delicious food that would transform me into a blob. Life isn’t fair!

Epic meal times - they did great shows and a line of products you could buy so you could imitate them.

I was more into these crazy smoothies made of icecream and anything I could find. I was eating full meals every 2 hours, 6 meals a day plus 2 of those smoothies. Heart attack waiting to happen.

[emmaki]

Epic meal times - they did great shows and a line of products you could buy so you could imitate them.

I was more into these crazy smoothies made of icecream and anything I could find. I was eating full meals every 2 hours, 6 meals a day plus 2 of those smoothies. Heart attack waiting to happen.

That’s the guys! I think they stopped, or I unsubscribed because they ran out of ideas and also got a bit too same old for me. Great stuff when it first started out though. They really had some impressive stuff in the early days. Which reminds me, that huge Icelandic guy off Game of Thrones has a channel. He must get through an insane amount of calories to maintain his hulking frame.

Money has no value, writer. Just wait for the next crash… or Modi-san’s next bold economic move which doesn’t take to the international blah bloop bleep.

As for ice-cream, I only really favor raspberry ripple, and I can’t get it here. I quite like that one with the pistachios in it too.

[eoinfinnegan]

That’s the guys! I think they stopped, or I unsubscribed because they ran out of ideas and also got a bit too same old for me. Great stuff when it first started out though. They really had some impressive stuff in the early days. Which reminds me, that huge Icelandic guy off Game of Thrones has a channel. He must get through an insane amount of calories to maintain his hulking frame.

Money has no value, writer. Just wait for the next crash… or Modi-san’s next bold economic move which doesn’t take to the international blah bloop bleep.

As for ice-cream, I only really favor raspberry ripple, and I can’t get it here. I quite like that one with the pistachios in it too.

They did finish up about a year ago.

Considering that I am 5’7 with a 30ish" waist, I was taking in a crazy amount of calories. Ice cream was just the base, I often mixed in boxes of chocolates, creme egg multipacks, several bananas, yoghurts, anything that had a high calorie count. They were smoothies but barely liquid as they were so thick with stuff. Anyway, enough of that, I’m going to hit the nutrition and health plan and figure out some sort of fitness routine. BTW, are people going to be allowed to post what/how much they have done each day etc?

That could be interesting or annoying, Im not sure.