"hi"


#1

Next time I get a message like that I am going to smash my laptop. LOL.


#2

(please don’t get any ideas…)


#3

hi


#4

(looking for a new laptop. lenovo looks cheap…)


#5

Could have been worse… Also, maybe it’s not really spam. Maybe Fiverr or the Internet have become self-aware finally, figured out that you were pretty interesting and decided to try and say “hi, how you doin?”

If I were you I’d see where this one goes, it could be the start of something beautiful, like in the movie ‘Her.’ Just go in knowing that you might get your heart broken and definitely steer clear of anyone calling themselves Skynet.


#6

Man, Her was a really boring movie. I really wanted to like it, too…


#7

I liked it like a good made for TV movie. Personally, I’ve struggled to like everything apart from the Lobster over the past couple of years. The Martian was pretty good but got a bit too silly sciencey towards the end. In fact, sometimes I think that all the IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes reviews are just written by people like us and mean nothing at all.


#8

I haven’t seen either of those yet. Matt Damon’s face annoys me (it’s one of those irrational things–see also Nic Cage’s face which sadly is an internet meme) so The Martian would be the visual equivalent of nails down a blackboard.

I think the next film I want to watch is the Grimsby one. It looks rubbish and I’ve already seen the “shocking” scene and I was not shocked. Well, I was, but more at the shoddy production values. I’d rather he did more Borat stuff though.

I really enjoy shouting at bad movies so I watch a lot of bad horror films where the blonde girl inevitably falls over screaming and apparently gets trapped in treacle as the serial killing maniac walks towards her. Zombie movies are also quite good for this, although I anti-fast zombie movies. I want shambling, useless and idiotic zombies that somehow outwit the dumb heroes. There was also a spate of stripper zombie movies recently which I enjoyed a lot. They were really bad… but deliberately so. Also, there’s plenty of boobs if you like that sort of thing. Zombie stripper boobs.


#9

I might have to give your boob zombie movies a try next time I have some suitably ironic copmany. I do often feel let down my movies though, but that might be because I’m more of a good book person. Everything is richer in a book if it’s done right, especially Shantaram what I’m reading at the mo. That said, Fiverr seems to be absorbing my reading, writing and in general leisure time at present. Oh the temptation to hit the vacation button. Must… Resist!


#10

You must be rich.


#11

These are seriously annoying. Do one of the following.

#1 Give them the benefit of the doubt and ask them how you can help.

#2 Reply with bye

#3 Send them a custom offer for $10,000 for the privilege of conversing with you.


#12

Zombieland is pretty Good. Don’t forget rule #2 to double tap. That will be very useful with anyone starting a conversation with “Hi” in your inbox. BOOM. Next!


#13

Hello! (not Hi) lol


#14

While setting up your new laptop i recommend you setup a boxing bag within arms reach of the laptop (this should actually be included in the setting up your first gig support article).


#15

Which one would you rather get?

Hi

OR

Can you teach me how to make more sells plz…

Anyhow… You should check out HP’s thinnest laptop! Though I’m not sure if it can compete with Lenovo’s bang for the buck kind of laptops…


#16

I’ve gotten Yo, Sup, Bro, and Fam. A legit way to start a conversation.


#17

Every time I get these kinds of messages, I compose a $100 custom offer in which I promise to do absolutely nothing at all except deliver a picture of my smiling face. Thus far, nobody’s accepted the offer, but thus far I haven’t received any repeat spam messages.


#18

I am definitely doing this. Thanks for the tip!


#19

If you haven’t seen it yet you must see
"Reanimator". (Available on Amazon)
“Daddy, what’s wrong?” (as her father is doing the zombie watusi as he is dragged away)
“He’s dead”(answers the mad scientist)

The ending scene is absolute horror in combination with hysterical humor, a rare combination.


#20

Hehe I like #3… I don’t think CS would though… rofl