Fiverr Forum

How to Deal with Noisy Neighbors Fiverr Style


#1

Do you hate noisy neighbors? I blooming do. If you work from home, constant excessive noise which is beyond your control makes it impossible to stay focused. Worse, it can lead to pretty huge anxiety issues. In fact, it can make you feel like you are both a prisoner and the most unwelcome person in your own home all at the same time. The good news, however, is that it doesn’t have to be this way. This is because I’ve just developed (patent pending) a 100% guaranteed way to make noisy neighbors and their cockroaches shut up and start walking on tiptoe in just 24-hours.

What you do is this:

First, you politely ask your neighbors to shut the hell up. Then if this doesn’t work (and you have shouty screamy neighbors like mine), you set your smart phone to record 2-3 hours of your neighbors shouty screamyness.

Recording done? Great. Now, whenever your noisy neighbors start shouting and screaming, you too can join in on all the fun by blasting your recording of their previous shouty screamyness at eardrum piercing volume.

The result? After about 2-3 minutes not only will your neighbors have shut the hell up. Even better than that, you will start to feel their abject horror and embarrassment seething through your property’s masonry.

Of course, your neighbors might relapse into intermittent states of shouty screamyness. However, over a period of 2-3 days of you playing your recording whenever noise is an issue, they will quickly get the message. In fact, one of the reasons why this works so well is because by playing a previous argument back at particularly screamy shouty people, such people find it impossible to stay focused on what they are currently supposed to be arguing about.

Win win!

Also, if this pretty cool life hack works for you, do remember where it came from and feel free to fire $5 my way.


#2

Any tips for next door’s Alsatian barking incessantly? :roll_eyes:


#3

Mmmhh… That’s tricky. I haven’t had to deal with this issue myself. You could try the same but only when the dogs owners are home so that they get the message. Alternatively, you could get in touch with your local animal welfare people and keep reporting the issue. I mean barking could be a sign of distress.


#4

During the day I think it’s OK - but I’m at work so I don’t know. It just barks at all the people that walk past in the street when they let it out in the evenings.

It’s highly annoying when you’re in the middle of a voiceover and then you can hear this dog going beserk in the background! :joy::joy:


#5

Maybe you can offer that as a service? Voiceover with a dog barking like crazy in the background? :dog:


#6

Yesss!!! I’ll list it as a gig extra - thanks! :joy::joy:


#7

Yeah, it’s called… call Animal Control and tell them you want to file a ‘nuisance complaint’ about excessive dog barking. I’ve dog it multiple times. They send a letter for their address and if continues they’ll go to the persons residence and handle it.

PS. Make sure you record video/audio of the dog barking with the time / how long. Always speeds things along if your neighbor doesn’t resolve the issue with their dog barking. Animals Control can step in faster if you have proof. You can report anonymously.


#8

I ran across an advertisement for a similar issue:

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comes Sickly’s newest lifestyle enhancement/ Security product … It’s Weird Uncle.

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Neighbors crossing boundaries?
That charming male friend exceeded his stay?
Just want to feel safer in that sanctuary of your own make?

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  • independently tested
  • patented technology to biologically replicate the worst of every hereditary experience.

Solar powered, he never goes inside (re-energizing lawn chair included!)

Just place a lukewarm miller lite brew in his hand and watch him go!
Open bathrobes and stained underwear included!

Weird Uncle does all the misguided and socially disastrous things that YOUR uncle does. Including:

*Sitting outside in overalls with no undershirt
*Listening to Hank Williams on a 1980’s boombox
*Inciting conversations about communism with Strangers
*Singing four minute country ballads without ever being in key

Consider yourself on private mode folks…no one is bothering you ever again!

But wait! There’s More!

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Don’t wait! Our team of sales professionals are waiting just to talk to you. AND if you call in the next ten minutes we’ll include two can’s of “Old Pants” aerosol spray- the only spray that smells like old pants.

(Sickly is not responsible for use of ‘old pants.’ Please consult a doctor prior to use. Side effects may include IBS, sensitivity to motion and calling the remote control a ‘clicker.’)

Why live the life you have if it’s not the life you want?

Try Weird Uncle today!

(Not available in Canada - void where prohibited)


#9

I’m afraid that this is a scam. I fell for a similar scam a few years ago when I bought my now ex a just add water to activate new gay best friend.

He was useless. Couldn’t cook, clean, and he never even looked remotely interested when you tried to talk to him. In the end, we had to throw him in the bin as he just felt too awkward to be around.


#10

Was it pretentiously priced, snooty water?
From my understanding - that’s crucial to the process.

Whole Foods has an entire section dedicated to inflatable non-people.


#11

Actually, it was pretentious snooty water. Where I live, you have to drink bottled water or your insides turn to algae and your kidneys fall out.


#12

Biological prosperity is anti character forming anyways. From our brief run ins- I can sense that you’ve crafted a disposition complete with anatomy defeating household - chemical warfare.

I always like that in a person.