I completely understand this. Sadly, my own experiences have taught me that… Well, its not what you are going to (or what anyone wants to hear), but sometimes when you are down financially, you end up being down financially for a long time.
At one point, my dream was to have a part time job in a local petrol station. It should have been easily achievable. My last job before that had been in a petrol station working as the night manager. However, hundreds of absurd obstacles kept popping up. I was a non-local in a city where that was a problem, I didn’t have a fixed address, I didn’t even have suitable clothes for an interview, etc.
I did get the job in the end, but it was a hard fight and now I think about it, it was a ridiculous fight. At my lowest when I could afford to eat, I was hunched over tea lights tying to cook fish fingers over them in a kitchen strainer.
That was a long time ago, but I’ve had relapses into financial Armageddon since then.
When I started freelancing, I was in a relationship and me and my ex had a nice amount of cash saved, We moved to a cheaper country where we could maintain our quality of life working part time in local restaurants without touching our savings if we wanted to. Freelancing for me was always something to just make extra cash.
Fast-forward a few years and my ex was suddenly doing a runner leaving me with at one point what amounted to $40 in the whole world. That was a shock and more than a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It was also not possible at all for me to just get a job. In this case, I had to make freelancing work. Somehow I did and it sounds like you need to too.
If I was you, I’d look at it this way. You have a computer. You can write. You’ve already found Fiverr. Now everyday you don’t have orders, you need to be finding ways to improve what you offer. where and how your gigs appear in the search, and all the while experiment with new gigs, services, and gig presentation styles.
Of course, look for other jobs in the meantime. as well as other freelancing platforms. Overall, though, you need to go into battle mode.
We live in a world where it is the going trend to celebrate feelings, equality, diversity, etc. The cold had truth, though, is that the world doesn’t care if you are poor, depressed, or oppressed, unless you have a few thousand followers on Instagram. The only way out of hardship is to fight out of it by taking what you have and finding ways to tun it into something better. It happens slowly, but it is possible.