I have a gig in which I will rewrite 300 words of any old trash you send my way. Guaranteed to be better than the original too, since it’s a manual rewrite which means I give it the once-over then tap some nonsense in the same vein until I’m at 300, give or take…well, give… another 30 words. Because over-delivery is important kidz
Wait, this sounds like a promotional puff piece! Well, it isn’t. This buyer dug deep down low into his pockets to bring out five–count 'em–five crinkled bills. As he laid out his requirements, he flattened each clumsily with the palm of his hand.
Now he wants to cancel the order because I asked him to provide me with something to rewrite.
I cannot repeat the stream of words that I used to express my opinions and feelings about this particular person, sadly. So I sent him a custom order for $75 reminding him that if he wanted original work, then that was the price. Or, he could stick to his princely $5 and give me a damn piece to rewrite.
Due to time zone shenanigans, I don’t know what happens next. Probably my headline though.