Fiverr Forum

"Let me tell you how to do your job"

I hate it when clients give you a jumbled load of crock, and give you rather vague instructions on how to fix it, and then when the work is delivered, have a million issues. The main issue is that some of what they wrote I had to delete because it was jibberish. I am generally good at understanding what a sentence might have meant, but some of these just weren’t legible.

I will agree that there was a couple of spelling errors in my work. Nobody is perfect, and the work was several thousand words. And then I was told that, for some reason, I wasn’t supposed to capitalize a few proper nouns, and that they wanted more things than they actually asked me for (linking all the articles together, for instance). Most of the spelling errors were from THEM, as this was just a rewriting job!

The file they sent me looked like they tore it directly off a website, and I had to reformat it and take out all the crap before I could even start with the writing, so what I should be doing is charging extra.

But if you are going to be super nitpicky and try to tell me how to do my job, then why are you hiring me? And why do the people who do this always have crappy English skills?

How often do you get clients that try to tell you how to do your job?

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I usually try to stay away from these clients if possible. Most of them contact me before ordering so that helps me see the red flags right away. Here’s one of the recent examples :slight_smile:

I need a Word press webpage. I know how to do it and half is done, but I need someone to finish it. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours.

Translation
"Word press webpage" - I’m so lost that I don’t even know how to write WordPress
"I know how to do it" - I watched some Youtube videos
"half is done" - I took a perfectly fine template and screwed it up so much that even tutorials won’t help me
"a few hours" - I will pay you as little as possible because even though I can’t do it myself, I know exactly how much time it takes you to do it

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LOL! We should get together and write an encyclopedia of client phrases.

“Can you give me the best price?” Your fully reasonable price is too high for my cheapness
"I just want a rewrite" I want a rewrite, but to my massively high expectations that I will not inform you about, and then get upset when you don’t do what I never told you that you should.
Or, my personal favorite “There is one spelling error in this work, I will ask for a modification and ask you to change the M to an N and then send it right back”

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This is one of the phrases that triggers a “Sorry, I´m booked out until Christmas next year” response. If you know how long it will take, do it yourself then within that time, if you want me to do it, don´t tell me how long it will take. It takes as long as it takes. It´s actually nunya either how long it takes unless you pay me by the hour.

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Quote of the day!!!

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Earlier today, I had a potential buyer send me a message asking about my services. She had sent her message from the message button on my gig. She stated that she was interested in my cheapest package (which I have set at $10). I responded, and encouraged her to select the package from my gig page, and I would be happy to complete it from there.

About an hour later, I received another message from this potential buyer stating that she “couldn’t find my cheapest package”, and wanted me to send her a custom order for it instead. I suspect she didn’t like the $10 price, and was hoping I would “accidentally” send her a $5 offer instead.

I shook my head, knowing full well that she had visited my gig page, and my “cheapest package” is listed right there – in plain sight – among the three gig packages that I offer. So, you wanna know what I did? I sent her an offer for my most expensive package.

I haven’t heard from her since.

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I had a translation rejected and refund request recently (a big one) because my non English speaking client had run it through grammarly and it had found approx 500 “issues”. They were good enough to include a screenshot showing the grammarly numbers and it happened to show 5 of the “issues”.
Fortunately, the five “issues” in the screenshot were false issues and I could quickly show how my text was correct.

My favorite interaction was when they said:

Grammarly is used by professional proofreaders so it is good for judging the quality of text

And I responded:

No, Grammarly is for wannabe Social Media gurus who need a machine to tell the difference between Your and You’re…

The order is now complete without any revisions and I feel better about the world!

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If someone says my prices are too high I tell them there are lots of $5 sellers they can hire. And then I stop talking to them.

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Lol! The funny thing is that I use Grammarly, but I use it because I type very fast and it catches a lot of the times that I may may have written a word more than once, or if my keyboard decided to rrepeat a letter or simply nt include one.

In case anyone couldn’t tell, the typos were facetious and on purpose.

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Lol. They wanted your ‘Don’t Worry, I Don’t Need to Eat This Week’ price.

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A while ago a buyer contacted me asking if I can check a translation which was done by another translator. It was pure cr@p BTW, wasn’t sure if the buyer will believe me, but I told him honestly.

He seemed sad and disappointed of course and he asked me if I can fix it.
I said yes and he placed an order. I finished and sent him the file.

A few days later he writes back saying “Your translation is very long, so much longer than the first original. Why can’t you make it short?”

  1. He asked me to translate the file WORD FOR WORD.
  2. Some things in English can be expressed in one vocabulary while in Japanese it takes a whole sentence.
  3. The other original “translation” was garbage with a lot of information missing.

I gave him the above list. 1 and 3 he got, but he just couldn’t accept #2.
Also, even though he initially agreed with the price I said ( he did somewhat point out that he thought it was too pricey) , he said he was starting to have doubts about paying full if I can’t make it shorter while I keeping all the original contents.

I tried explaining but he juuuuuuuust couldn’t get it.
I told him I can just cancel the order and he can look for someone else.
He did.

A week or so later he came back saying he was sorry and needed my help.
It was a rush job so he paid extra.

The End.

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If the client is shady, doesn’t use proper grammar and asks for a custom offer after messaging you from the gig “Contact” box, I always send them a higher offer than my packages.

If it wasn’t for the Response Rate, I would’ve left all those potential clients on “Seen” aka “Read”.

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Lol, I don’t have an issue with anyone using Grammarly to check their writing or to “throw up queries” on what they have done, just the idea that it is a way to judge the quality of writing/translation is laughable!

Like your facetious use of typos, hyperbole (which is also based on Grammarly’s ad campaigns) is a very effective way to make a point

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Agreed, Grammarly is great to use to make sure you haven’t used too many commas (guilty as charged), but it should not be used as a replacement for an editor, or as a way to criticize an editors work. I have seen times when Grammarly wanted to correct something I wrote into something that made no sense at all.

“But Grammarly thinks your writing sucks” is the new form of “Dad agrees with me, so you must be wrong!”

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I use it whole the day! Cannot without it!
giphy-99

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The OTHER quote of the day!

BTW I am ashamed to say that I’ve never heard of Grammarly…
I’ll check it out when I get home tonight :slight_smile:

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Too real. I’ve had people doubt my translations/edits of translations because the Chinese translation just “seems so much shorter than the English!”

It’s not my fault that words in Chinese are singular characters…

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:smiley: I use it for the same reason. I usually do like 3-4 things at the same time so often by the time a finish a sentence I’ve already forgotten the beginning. And I hate my laptop keyboard which is optimized for typing with 2 fingers. I have to use a freakin’ external keyboard, but then Grammarly finds it too fast that it tries to correct me before I finish my word. Let me first write a full sentence and then point out typos, don’t do it while I’m still typing. You don’t know what I was trying to type there, stop guessing.

The only thing I don’t like about Grammarly is that it tries to correct everything, even when I’m writing code in a browser and at times it even manages to inject its own code into mine.

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Word’s spellcheck is smart like that too when you have a document with more than one language in it.
So, it´s not just clients but also programs telling us how to do our jobs.

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I’m in a similar position right now – after months of nothing but wonderful buyers – and I’m kicking myself for accepting the order. The red flags are so obvious in hindsight!

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