Lets reduce STRESS

[bharath1987]

Hello my dear friends, Its my pleasure to share my feelings through this forum. Have you ever think about that How to reduce stress, or What is stress? According to my medical knowledge We can divide the stress as PHYSICAL STRESS and MENTAL STRESS. We have to face both stresses during our fiverr work. We are responsible to make quality products with in allocated time period. Due to the continuous sitting in front of the pc our body is got stress. mainly our spinal cord and our eyes are affected most. Mental stress is produced mostly by the work load. In that time our body is activated by SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. This STRESS makes more bad results. I kindly say this We all try to reduce stress by finishing our works on time, do exercise daily, Use safety spectacles, take good nutrition, and get fun on free time. i wish you all be well without any stress.

thank you my friends,
with lots of love
BHARATH

[haritha_kh]

Is bharth your real name? Or did you use your country’s name as your fiverr name 😃

[jonbaas]

Hello my dear friends, Its my pleasure to share my feelings through this forum. Have you ever think about that How to reduce stress, or What is stress? According to my medical knowledge We can divide the stress as PHYSICAL STRESS and MENTAL STRESS. We have to face both stresses during our fiverr work. We are responsible to make quality products with in allocated time period. Due to the continuous sitting in front of the pc our body is got stress. mainly our spinal cord and our eyes are affected most. Mental stress is produced mostly by the work load. In that time our body is activated by SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. This STRESS makes more bad results. I kindly say this We all try to reduce stress by finishing our works on time, do exercise daily, Use safety spectacles, take good nutrition, and get fun on free time. i wish you all be well without any stress.

thank you my friends,

with lots of love

BHARATH

Hello my dear friends, Its my pleasure to share my feelings through this forum. Have you ever think about that How to reduce stress, or What is stress? According to my medical knowledge We can divide the stress as PHYSICAL STRESS and MENTAL STRESS. We have to face both stresses during our fiverr work. We are responsible to make quality products with in allocated time period. Due to the continuous sitting in front of the pc our body is got stress. mainly our spinal cord and our eyes are affected most. Mental stress is produced mostly by the work load. In that time our body is activated by SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. This STRESS makes more bad results. I kindly say this We all try to reduce stress by finishing our works on time, do exercise daily, Use safety spectacles, take good nutrition, and get fun on free time. i wish you all be well without any stress.

thank you my friends,

with lots of love

BHARATH

I gained stress while trying to read this. 😉

[damooch916]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.
“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”
“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”
“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."
He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”
"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.
“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.
“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

[writer99025]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

Dude at least sell this stuff for $5 or something. LOL. [Your writing is very good. But here’s what I don’t like about it. It’s free.] [The message is for @damooch916 , don’t want the OP to think it’s for him…]

[damooch916]

Dude at least sell this stuff for $5 or something. LOL. [Your writing is very good. But here’s what I don’t like about it. It’s free.] [The message is for @damooch916 , don’t want the OP to think it’s for him…]

Dude at least sell this stuff for $5 or something. LOL.

I’m gun shy about it, writer. I don’t have a literary background that isn’t self imposed. I know what type of self inflicted anger I get when amateur, non accredited songwriters refer to themselves as “professional.” I’ve worked my entire life to be in professional musical situations. Somehow I think that offering a writing gig would be the same insult.

Anyways… writers write. My narratives are three and half minutes long and include a melody. It’s my occupation. I wouldn’t want to murk the writing waters with my gigs if it takes away from professionals who have given their entire lives to the art form. That’s exactly how I feel about music.

Note: I’m not denouncing the talent of young musicians. We all started somewhere. There’s a lot of talented kids out there. I just have very definitive opinions on people’s paying dues… I know incredible players who died penniless in a world that covets youtube karaoke singers. I would never want to insult someone’s professional capabilities.

[writer99025]

Dude at least sell this stuff for $5 or something. LOL.

I’m gun shy about it, writer. I don’t have a literary background that isn’t self imposed. I know what type of self inflicted anger I get when amateur, non accredited songwriters refer to themselves as “professional.” I’ve worked my entire life to be in professional musical situations. Somehow I think that offering a writing gig would be the same insult.

Anyways… writers write. My narratives are three and half minutes long and include a melody. It’s my occupation. I wouldn’t want to murk the writing waters with my gigs if it takes away from professionals who have given their entire lives to the art form. That’s exactly how I feel about music.

Note: I’m not denouncing the talent of young musicians. We all started somewhere. There’s a lot of talented kids out there. I just have very definitive opinions on people’s paying dues… I know incredible players who died penniless in a world that covets youtube karaoke singers. I would never want to insult someone’s professional capabilities.

I wouldn’t want to murk the writing waters with my gigs if it takes away from professionals who have given their entire lives to the art form.

Dude, seriously - The only writing I did was trolling people on online forums, chat rooms and Twitter all my life. Then one fine day on Jan 2014, I found out people could make money online through a chance conversation with a guy who hated me - feeling was mutual. Then I opened an account on Fiverr and a few other platforms, hoping to make a living as an app developer/programmer. Nobody hired me. Then researched the market and starting writing articles. Became a TRS in 1 year, wrote over 20,000 articles, dozens of ebooks and made a mini-fortune in 3-4 years. So don’t give me any nonsense about giving away life to art forms etc. One thing I have learned in life, life is about adapting to different situations and doing your best at that time. Past does not matter, future is immaterial. Live for the present. Don’t give a sh## what others say about you.

[damooch916]

I wouldn’t want to murk the writing waters with my gigs if it takes away from professionals who have given their entire lives to the art form.

Dude, seriously - The only writing I did was trolling people on online forums, chat rooms and Twitter all my life. Then one fine day on Jan 2014, I found out people could make money online through a chance conversation with a guy who hated me - feeling was mutual. Then I opened an account on Fiverr and a few other platforms, hoping to make a living as an app developer/programmer. Nobody hired me. Then researched the market and starting writing articles. Became a TRS in 1 year, wrote over 20,000 articles, dozens of ebooks and made a mini-fortune in 3-4 years. So don’t give me any nonsense about giving away life to art forms etc. One thing I have learned in life, life is about adapting to different situations and doing your best at that time. Past does not matter, future is immaterial. Live for the present. Don’t give a sh## what others say about you.

Don’t give a sh## what others say about you.

I’ve never had an issue in this department. Mind you, I’m a professional love song writer, with my chest peaking out in all of my promotional shots (shout-out to my Instagram lurkers…I love you). Shameless and unabashed marketing is my first language… complete shamelessness is my second (the natives call it “musician language”).

I haven’t abandoned the idea of a creative writing gig completely. I’ve been told repeatedly that I would have instant work, stemming from this very forum, by people kind enough to read through my non-sense ramblings. What I would want to do first, though, is go into a semi hibernation period to learn the real ins and outs of making a sustainable/profitable go of it. Since returning to fiverr, I’ve drummed up all the business I’ve obtained myself. That’s not uncommon for resurrecting gigs, I only mention it to say that I’d be splitting marketing time on a completely different genre if I do enter the field. I’m fighting tooth and nail to regain the lost traction from years spent away from this arena.

Perhaps I’ll go into the other area once I’m at a sustainable pace… and after a healthy dose of video tutorials, thread viewing, blog extraction, peer advice and close inspection of what works.

I really appreciate the encouragement though. I can’t keep denying that I’m being pulled into that direction. There has to be some business or blogging sector that needs highly temperature’d, spastic, faux journalism written in humorous bursts of caffeinated spasms… right?

[bharath1987]

Is bharth your real name? Or did you use your country’s name as your fiverr name 😃

[paulmaplesden]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable.

This. I like this. It’s goodly.

[misscrystal]

I’m a collector of mosquito bites. Just had breakfast outside and my *** has several… right through pants. Nothing stops them, you gotta admire that.

I’ve tried hard to develop an admiration of insects and some are easier to admire than others. I love bats so they need something to eat, so that’s how I rationalize the existence of mosquitos.

[madebyabby]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

If you write as good as you do, you should be a writer.

[janali]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

Whenever I read something in the forum that is written by you, I get excited in a weird kind of way. 😃

[misscrystal]

Whenever I read something in the forum that is written by you, I get excited in a weird kind of way. 😃

He has lots of admirers, get in line…

[damooch916]

Whenever I read something in the forum that is written by you, I get excited in a weird kind of way. 😃

Whenever I read something in the forum that is written by you, I get excited in a weird kind of way.

I know this feeling. It’s a sudden tonic of euphoria and disapproval. It’s the part of you that went cloud gazing only to wind up watching the aftermath of a car wreck. Oh I know… you’re a well wisher and all… but deep down inside, you love the carnage.

[damooch916]

He has lots of admirers, get in line…

giphy.gif500×578 1.33 MB

He has lots of admirers, get in line…

Funny story. I ran across a thread where some boy insulted you (you’ll remember… some blockheaded comment about magic).

Rather unexpectedly, I went into a blind rage. I wrote this guy every conceivable, destructively vile, subtly yet staunchly haunting and descriptive term I could muster. The type of message so psychologically demanding that, after reading, even your mirror says, “I can’t even look at you.”

It was so reactionary that I realized it could actually cause harm to this person.

So, I had to cancel the message and leave. But I guess I have a protective reaction to my forum favorites. Meanwhile, you were doing just fine already.

[Anna]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

You should start writing a book 😅

[janali]

He has lots of admirers, get in line…

giphy.gif500×578 1.33 MB

Oh, I’ afraid you missunderstood. I’m not working on my bachelors in literature to admire the author, I’m admiring the written word. Regardless of where that is coming from. 🙂

[damooch916]

Oh, I’ afraid you missunderstood. I’m not working on my bachelors in literature to admire the author, I’m admiring the written word. Regardless of where that is coming from. 🙂

I’m not working on my bachelors in literature to admire the author, I’m admiring the written word.

For a suspended and brilliant moment, I thought that I was entering into “forum heartthrob” territory. Must we be so quick to dismiss that? Sure… it’s okay to be respected for your concepts and literary labors… but it’s nothing in comparison to being the brooding bad boy of the fiverr forum.

Listen, I have a compelling case for reducing me to eye candy.

• I play music - This is clear evidence that I can’t differentiate between expression and modeling in four/four time.
• I lift weights- Set aside all that physiological mumbo jumbo and all you have is some pound touting, grunt factory in a blue-tooth headset, listening to “Take On Me” and air synthing between sets.
• I own leather jackets - What could be more air headed and dreamy than that?

As an added bonus: I can make your mother warn you about me (whilst secretly agreeing with your unreasonable behavior). I can look longingly into the stars and offer empty/quasi humorous musings that highlight my shallow thought process: “I just gotta know whats out there…” and (due to my chronic dry eye syndrome and light sensitivity) I will wear ray ban sunglasses in doors.

So please…reconsider this whole “respecting the person” thing and consider me for “forum heartthrob / objectified trophy fiverrian.”

[janali]

I’m not working on my bachelors in literature to admire the author, I’m admiring the written word.

For a suspended and brilliant moment, I thought that I was entering into “forum heartthrob” territory. Must we be so quick to dismiss that? Sure… it’s okay to be respected for your concepts and literary labors… but it’s nothing in comparison to being the brooding bad boy of the fiverr forum.

Listen, I have a compelling case for reducing me to eye candy.

• I play music - This is clear evidence that I can’t differentiate between expression and modeling in four/four time.
• I lift weights- Set aside all that physiological mumbo jumbo and all you have is some pound touting, grunt factory in a blue-tooth headset, listening to “Take On Me” and air synthing between sets.
• I own leather jackets - What could be more air headed and dreamy than that?

As an added bonus: I can make your mother warn you about me (whilst secretly agreeing with your unreasonable behavior). I can look longingly into the stars and offer empty/quasi humorous musings that highlight my shallow thought process: “I just gotta know whats out there…” and (due to my chronic dry eye syndrome and light sensitivity) I will wear ray ban sunglasses in doors.

So please…reconsider this whole “respecting the person” thing and consider me for “forum heartthrob / objectified trophy fiverrian.”

As much as I like the thought of shocking my mother, I just want you for your literary skills. However, I do have to admit that I am just as much into drama as I am into any other type of literature, so I don’t mind playing a role for your amusement.

[indieoven]

You have some good tips… But what I’m about to reveal to you will change your life indefinitely.

While on the job in a remote location just outside of Rio Linda, California - I happened to come across a psychotherapy that revamped my entire being. I was traveling with my lawyer, Swifty Barrowitz. Swifty is a frugal man. He’s cheap.

Why, Swifty’s so cheap - he makes a sandwich with just one slice of bread. Swifty’s so cheap he reads fortune cookies to his kids before bed. Swifty’s so cheap he once got evicted from his bicycle.

So as you can see, it didn’t come as a surprise when we were suddenly out of gas on the broken pavement side of Elverta road. Gruesome properties lined the street each displaying cracked frame ways and bars lining the windows. Beaten vehicles sat atop dead grass in the front yards. Doors were cracked and chipped and the shifty eye’d onlookers gawked as we made our way from the car to the road.

We hadn’t made ten paces before a frantic man ran calling toward us. He was panting and made a vulgar gurgle noise between breaths. His eyes rippled and the red lines inside them sparkled with a fierce electricity. He was unbalanced as he briskly moved. Fumbling like a toddler and reaching for some invisible beam. Grease covered hair poked from his brown, lint covered beanie… plopping in front of his pale, pasty face and snagging inside his unshaven stubble.

“You guys is lost!” He correctly articulated.

“We’re not lost brute,” I shouted, “We just don’t know where we are.”

“Where you are…” he started through purling gurgles, “is exactly where you should be.”

“I have no time for disgustingly dressed sages. I’m late for sound check. Garbage cologne’d savant day isn’t for three more days!”

Harsh, yes…but you have to be on guard with the brutes. They’re a mean sort that deal in carnival barking and trickery. There’s always an apple with the brutes…and it’s always filled with poison.

“Oh…I see,” he began, "You have a long go. Well, you gonna tire down. So take this."

He reached into his coat. It was one of those long coats you wear in July because you’re insane and the cat told you it was fashionable. I barely flinched as he pulled a folded note from the depth of his inner pocket and handed it to me. I opened it and found in shockingly legible letters:

Simon’s Transactional Stress Maximization Techniques- A tolerance building exercise that minimizes reactions to daily mental and physical strains by engaging in maddening behaviors:

1. Find and argue with a spouse about the air conditioner setting.

2. Start all daily conversations at work by saying: “I know you think you’re right but…”

3. Ask to babysit your friend’s children and take them to a grocery store.

4. Ask a mail carrier “isn’t email a more effective system?”

5. Create an online ad for “Little person bowling.” When you get hired, arrive and explain that you “identify” as a little person.

6. Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

7. Purchase 20 channel changers identical to your working channel changer. Ask the neighbors to hide them while you work.

After one week of living with these helpful tips - you will be completely desensitized to stress of all sorts. As an added bonus, you will also be prepared for marriage.

I was confused. I needed clarification from this wild looking savage…but as I put the paper away, he was nowhere in sight.

“Swifty…” I exclaimed, “Where’s the ruffian?”

"The who? " Swifty shot back, drenched in his own perspiration.

“The brute…where is the brute?” I yelled.

“What are you talking about kid? You’re worn out champ. You have to play tonight. Get it together.”

I never spoke of the man again…but I did put his (or someone’s) stress techniques to good use. I can successfully say that I’m married, have kids, I’m totally numb to all things and a walking zombie of whatever-ness.

Thanks weird looking, long coat guy… wherever you are…

Sit with people that smack their mouths while eating corn. As they eat, ask them to define the perfect song.

just had a frantic moment after imagining this