Let's talk about "Refundastanding"

[emmaki]

Quibble about the spelling as this is a portmanteau of refund and understand.

So, why would you do this? I did it last week and they didn’t want to refunderstand at all. The understanding “plz I refund and you delete your shitshow of a review”.

In that particular case their complete lack of communication or willingness to negotiate after I had displayed mine like a peacock in full heat meant that Fiverr CS deleted it. If he comes back after his money, I’m going to ignore it or reply with a quixotic note. That’s a seemingly helpful statement that has no practical value, btw.

The point is, you have a lot of tools in your arsenal aside from the Fisher Price “let’s complain about Fiverr buyer preference injustice” screwdriver. You might remember my Sun Tzu post yesterday. That dropped like a rock, which is fine, so I’m back with a made up word and this post.

If your buyer for some reason turns major asshat, it’s time to think like a military strategist. And Sun Tzu is the military strategist’s military strategist. Flounder and panic yourself–I do, too, as I am a weak hoo-man as well–but remember that you have a lot of strategies on your side if you use them even as you’re flopping about like a beached sea bass.

Refundastanding is just one of those tricks. Lull them into false security, and if they can’t or won’t take the bait, you have satisfied a CS standard issue response “plz try to work it out”. Go and read Sun Tzu and consider each point the yellow peril makes with reference to your own peril.

It’s good brain exercise, too. Even better, your awful buyer is likely to be dumber than a bag of rocks so the outsmarting won’t require you to expend too much brainpower in outwittng them.

Use your brain, folks. School might’ve drummed it out of you, but it’s still there and working. It may even dare to be original if you will, too. Now that’s a refundastanding.

[onlinedzshop]

Okey…

[emmaki]

lol

whatever man, should I do a top ten tips instead starting with 1) start a profile? Might that be more your level? Kindergarten? Where $5 is a fortune?

[onlinedzshop]

lol i know you get mad fast so i was trying to piss you off that’s all 😃

[misscrystal]

It takes some good communication skills combined with great customer support people such as Bob and the others. When the buyer won’t even reply after you bend over backwards to be wonderful it’s a clue to their unreasonableness and ulterior motive.

[misscrystal]

I’ve never heard her mad. She doesn’t mince words.

[emmaki]

ah, the old backtracking “u mad bro”. gambit with emoticons.

This is not Sun Tzu approved.

[emmaki]

Oh yeah, that’s the nuts and bolts of it to be sure.

[jamesbulls]

Good customer service on the side of the seller goes a long way to being victorious in the bad-review battle before it even starts.

[emmaki]

This shit, yo.

👌 good shit go౦ԁ sHit​:ok_hand: thats ✔️ some good​:ok_hand:👌shit right​:ok_hand:👌there​:ok_hand:👌👌 right​:heavy_check_mark:there ✔️✔️if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ:100: 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ:ok_hand: 👌👌 👌 👌 👌👌Good shit

[jamesbulls]

[raimi86]

ROFLMAO!

[smmconsultant]

I have little idea what you are trying to convey that is of much value. This seems like a very verbose way of saying you don’t want to give refunds. Your readers will also understand 1) you hate customers and 2) you think the rest of us sellers are morons.

My view of refunds is on the empathetic side: I never want the customer to have something they can’t find useful – because I wouldn’t want to keep something I can’t find useful. Additionally, a 100% money back guarantee, no questions asked, is the best policy on Fiverr as a refund removes any negative feedback the customer leaves.

What I see in your rant is cussing, condescension to both your customers and fellow sellers, “showing off” of little used words, obtuse similes, highly confusing turns of phrase…wow I can’t stop finding things that seem odd about your post. Here’s a big word to describe your post (that I’m sure you will know with your above-average vocabulary): obfuscation.

It’s entertaining that you say, “I’m going to…reply with a quixotic note,” since Don Quixote was insane. Perhaps you see yourself as a chivalrous knight like he did.

And military strategy? You are trying to make money here, not going to war. It seems as if you would not hesitate to cross the trenches in WW I, smack a German soldier on the head, then demand, “Give me five dollars and by the way I can’t stand you!”

If I were in the position to “grade” your essay, I give you 100% on originality (you have that in spades), and 0% on clarity / readability.

Your method of writing aside, I would give 0% on Customer Service. Customers can read this forum just like anyone else; and they will find your words condescending at the least, but more probably insulting.

If you buy gigs as well as sell them, would you buy from someone with this level of disdain toward customers? Empathy is the key to understanding customers.

[emmaki]

Did I hurt your feelings over on the other post, my dear?

[emmaki]

My customers don’t need understanding. They want profit. That’s what my words do. Grade away, but I’ll be wiping my tears away with gold. Meanwhile, my offended non-customers can… I dunno, grade my writing or something. The best you could come up with quixotic was “insane”? Did you just look up the Cliff Notes? Cervantes’ writing is so much more than “man goes mad and screeches at windmills”.

I mean, this was not original. Someone else did what looked like a typo, I loved it and ran away with it, as it had themes close to sellers and buyers hearts. You can Google “Sun Tzu business” and marketing consultants will flow out like cheap wine.

Your refund policy does you a disservice. I had a fair old panic about some a*****e the other week. But guess what. I kept the money, and Fiverr booted the review. I’m still learning. What I do know is that this is a war, sometimes. Empathy doesn’t work in war. I do good work, and I have GREAT customer service.

Thing is, this is a forum, and you’re not my customer. You’re grading me on some random waffle. You’re inventing situations where I’m bashing krauts over the head in the trenches and demanding they give me $5. Wat.

Also, I’m going to bet you self-loved your post for a little extra smm juice.

This is war, and I’m #winning. You’re bleating. I might be losing another time–but that’s OK. It’s life.

PS I know I sound arrogant as hell. It’s kinda fun, though.

[misscrystal]

I won’t even ask what smm juice is.
edit: Oh I see now, it’s in her name.
I am so grateful to you for expressing a lot of things I would not say myself. If you are
going to write for a living what’s the point of being mealy mouthed. I like reading your opinions. I don’t think I’ve read one yet I disagree with.
It’s tiresome trying to be politically correct all the time and I feel drained much of the time suppressing the way I feel when dealing with some buyers. As an empath I feel a lot more than most. It’s not a gift.

[glitchfool]

Emma is absolutely correct.

I have a buyer as we speak who praised the illustration I was doing with him all throughout the course of the order, and then out of left field throws me a curveball cancellation, going on about how we had two different visions, and I was a hard worker, but it wasn’t going to work out… And this was all after I finished the illustration. I was actually doing more revisions free of charge for him. Oh yeah, and he tried to tell me I failed to follow his reference material, but a cursory glance will tell you the style he asked for and the one he got from me are one in the same. The man had nothing but good things to say until the work was done.

So yeah, this is most definitely war. Failure to realize this only serves to show your naivety.

[jamesbulls]

[fitrigwrites4u]

I luv it: ˝Use your brain, folks. School might’ve drummed it out of you, but it’s still there and working. It may even dare to be original if you will, too˝.

[pabelahd]

Helpful. Thanks