Limerick Heaven (or Hell)


#1

Whether you’re from county Limerick, have a tenuous association with the place or just like limericks, this is the place to be. :fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire:

Other humorous forms of poetry etc accepted too.

What is a Limerick?

I don’t know how to make limericks!
Sure you do. Feast on Edward Lear and just make up some shite that rhymes with due inspiration:

“There was an Old Man with a nose,
Who said, 'If you choose to suppose,
That my nose is too long,
You are certainly wrong!'
That remarkable Man with a nose.”

Check out the illustrations. This is great stuff! http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/BoN/bon010.html


Do you love your job?
Now a little poem
How to ? How it Works?
Jeez people need to lighten up on this forum
#2

And anti-limericks are welcome, like this one I’ve lazily pilfered from the wiki:

There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He replied "It’s because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever I possibly can


#3

There’s a young lass who lives in Nantucket
Who carries her cash in a bucket
She says with a grin,
“I’m not one to sin
But I’d sell out my Gran for a ducat!”

[details=New Improved Ending for Romeo and Juliet]Romeo and Juliet: The language is a little archaic, a little flowery. That William Shakespeare. He tried, all right? Romeo and Juliet has endured for over 400 years, but it’s got a major story problem.

We pick up with the new and improved, shorter ending in Act V, Scene III, right after the death of Paris.

In this version, Juliet starts to wake up a little quicker, to move things along.

Scene III. Verona. A churchyard; in it the monument of the Capulets.

  Romeo: In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face.
    Mercutio's kinsman, noble County Paris!
    What said my man when my betossed soul
    Did not attend him as we rode? I think
    He told me Paris should have married Juliet.
    Said he not so? or did I dream it so?
    Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet
    To think it was so? O, give me thy hand,
    One writ with me in sour misfortune's book!
    I'll bury thee in a triumphant grave.
    A grave? O, no, a lanthorn, slaught'red youth,
    For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes
    This vault a feasting presence full of light.
    Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr'd.
                                         [Lays him in the tomb.]

[Juliet begins to stir]

   Romeo: Yon nymph, Juliet, she looketh hot whilst yet she sleepeth.

[He admires her approvingly as she wakes.]
   
   Juliet:  Wha... wha happened?

   Romeo!  Romeo!  Therefore art thou, Romeo!

[Romeo kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring.]

   Romeo: Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
   I love you, and that's all I really know.
   I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress
   It's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes.'

   Juliet: Yeseth!  Oh, yeseth!  Verily!

Enter Friar [Laurence], with lanthorn, crow, and spade.

  Friar. Saint Francis be my speed! how oft to-night
    Have my old feet stumbled at graves! Who's there?

  Bal. Here's one, a friend, and one that knows you well.

  Friar. Bliss be upon you! Tell me, good my friend,
    What torch is yond that vainly lends his light
    To grubs and eyeless skulls? As I discern,
    It burneth in the Capels' monument.

  Bal. It doth so, holy sir; and there's my master,
    One that you love.

  Friar. Who is it?

  Bal. Romeo.

  Friar. How long hath he been there?

  Bal. Full half an hour.

  Friar. Go with me to the vault.

  Bal. I dare not, sir.
    My master knows not but I am gone hence,
    And fearfully did menace me with death
    If I did stay to look on his intents.

  Friar. Stay then; I'll go alone. Fear comes upon me.
    O, much I fear some ill unthrifty thing.

  Bal. As I did sleep under this yew tree here,
    I dreamt my master and another fought,
    And that my master slew him.

  Friar.

[He walks in on Romeo and Juliet making out, in a wholesome manner
appropriate for two 15-year-old kids.]

  Friar.  Romeo!  Juliet!

  Romeo and Juliet [in unison]:  We're getting married!  It's a happy ending!
                                                   [Exeunt omnes.]
THE END

End of the New and Improved Ending of Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare[/details]


#4

There was a young lady named Emma,
In her picture was holding a pepper,
When asked to hold back,
She doubled her attack,
While shouting no,nay, never.
:wink:


#5

There´s a greenlogo-ed page on the internet
Where if you got 5 bucks you can place a bet.
You might win a big prize,
or just a nasty surprise,
but there´s The Ranting Pot too, so don´t you fret.


#6

Damn, you guys are so talented!


#7

There is a young talent named writer
Whose comment makes our day brighter.
We just fool around,
Get limericks off the ground,
To make our fate appear lighter.


#8

I am posting from email for muh badges:

There was once a fellow called Eoin
Whose name’s pronunciation was unknown
Even though it had a certain mien
The poor fellow was constantly seen
to be despairing like a flagellated protozoan

Conclusion: Eoin is awful to find rhymes for. I do not know what a flagellated protozoan does exactly, but dammit it rhymes. I also have no idea how to pronounce mien, but “meen” seems like a reasonable stab in the dark, or perhaps “mee-yen”

There was once a place to get shit done
But sadly the servers did not run
as the #doers wailed in despair
the trusty staff did the servers repair
And that shit was done, all for a bit of fun

I wonder the email posting screws up formatting. …

EDIT: I deem the email posting to be


#9

How do you post via email?


#10

In German you call that: Reim dich oder ich freß dich.

Don´t know what it does either, but I´m certain it´s green.


#11

I don’t know, sometimes I get emails notifications of a topic I’ve posted in. You just respond to that and boom, badge. If you’re not getting those emails, just fiddle about with that thing under the green reply button, as I think you can toggle it there.


#12

That makes sense. Email is so 2016 though.


#13

I´ve tried a few times, the replying through email that is, but it always tells me I can´t and to contact CS, so I just, don´t, you know, it´s so 2016 anyway. :smiley_cat:

I tried once to reply through email,
but it was even worse than by snail.
I sent a pigeon instead,
but the silly thing fled.
So I´ll just go and have a fine ale.


#14

http://www.google.com

I was going to make a limerick about Badge farming (I am attempting the sharing badge now), but badge is too much work.

LIMERICK CHALLENGE: make a limerick using Hungary as a rhyme. Bonus difficulty: no made up words. Have fun, suckers! The link above may prove helpful in this quest.

EDIT: how the hell do I get the share thing to work so I can get a badge?


#15

What if the the non-rhyming person/object isn’t particularly tasty?

EDIT: the flagellated etc is basically plankton. Big science words here


#16

Just swallow them/it whole, won´t matter as much then.

No idea, but looking for them, there seem to be at least two? First Share, Nice Share, if those aren´t the same one after all.

Badges btw only are queried once a day, so you might have to just wait it out, or so I read. Sounds familiar? Yeah maybe.

clicks on shared protothing info, just in case there´s a badge in that somehow for one of us ; )


Just a test, nothing to see here, move along
#17

Look! I shared your thing! Now I’m sharing the thing that I shared! Still no badge. I’m giving up now.


#18

I know!!
I’m sitting here scrolling down, thinking how the heck do you guys come up with those lines…?

I feel…so…untalented!!


#19

There was a young fellow in Hungary.
For his start-up he wanted some luxury. (1)
Bought the moon for a fiverr,
And used his screwdriverr,
Now there´s a logo in the moon over Hungary. (2)

(1) courtesy of RhymeZone, luxury rhymes with Hungary…yeah right.
(2) see OL (Opening Limerick), cf. nose-suppose-nose


#20

Rumble in the Jungle: @miiila vs. @emmaki

May the best woman win!