Fiverr Forum

My pet rats are eating my wallpaper


This is my biggest annoyance right now. it’s the only room we decorated since moving in (I hate decorating. Actually I hate a lot of things that take time and require you to be methodical) and they’re only out for an hour or so a day, and the little ******s know that they’re not supposed to eat the wallpaper because they look guilty when I yell at them.

Someone link me a gig that gives pet rat advice.


Paint instead of wallpaper?


Be careful for what you ask for. A savvy spammer will quickly create a gig just to get a sale. :grin:
Can we see a pic of the brats, rats?


Unfortunately our walls aren’t up to not being wallpapered. Old house n’all. But good suggestion otherwise!


Get a wooden box and some spare wallpaper. Next mix flour water, raisins, peanuts and basic whole food snacky stuff in a big bowl. Now use this as wallpaper paste and wallpaper your wooden box. Once dry, sit in the middle of the affected room as your rats run free and they should choose to nibble at your new fake walls rather than your actual ones.


They’re taking too long to upload! Typical brattish behaviour.


This is actually a bloody brilliant idea. Apart from the peanuts which are bad for them. But replace with walnuts. Excellent.


Careful, if they are male rats the walnuts will make them crazy horny and the last thing you want is a bunch of fury sexual deviants running rampage around the house.

Also, walnuts work on human males too, so maybe keep a bag aside for a dull day when you’re feeling a bit jiggy and want to transform your other half into the ultimate gigolo.


They’re girls, so I’m good :slight_smile:

The time for this has been and gone :wink:


You mean you’re happy living in Singlesville? Or do you mean that you’ve already fed your significant other too many aphrodisiacs and warn him out?

In either case, you never know when things might take a turn, so keep a bag, if only to grind them up and slip into the odd houseguests tea if they are suitably handsome and charming.


I’ve wanted pet rats for the longest while, but if there are any in Jamaica, I can’t find them. People here consider rats as just plain old dirty things, so no one would even think of selling them. :cry:


Didn’t you say you were coming to stay with me?


Aww. Actually they’re thought of oddly in NZ too. It’s hard to get stuff for them. NZers have an aversion to anything that eats baby kiwis.


I used to kidnap Kiwi eggs in Okarito with DOC. We used to go out at night, find the burrows, steal the eggs, replace them with dummies, and the real ones used to get taken away to be incubated before the chicks were raised on an island somewhere and returned to Okarito when they reached adulthood.

I ended up having a big falling out with DOC, though, as they also started dumping 1080 poison everywhere which I thought was just insane.


Ikr? NZ is so contradictory with it’s ecology programmes.


Oh my! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


I hear a lot of billionaires are moving to New Zealand…wrote a couple of articles on it…last place that’s safe on earth, apparently…Peter Thiel is a big land owner there…even took up Kiwi citizenship…(I’m not a billionaire, but I might move there as well…either NZ or Cyprus!) (Or a quiet hill station in North India).


Half of NZ’s a giant volcano and you could never leave India really. You’d make half Bangalore redundant and there would be no one in Cyprus to cook your eggs for you.


Don’t worry, Eoin: I’ll save some walnuts for when you’re passing through :wink:


So many options!