Fiverr Forum

Not enough ranting


#1

This is my favorite sub-forum for those times when both reasonable and unreasonable people lose their number twos.

Sadly, there is not enough of this lately. Please rectify. Bonus points for wildly unconventional writing habits, outright lies, defensiveness, (imagined) swiveling eyes and all the rest of it. Basically, go crazy. I have a lot of popcorn and I need drama to go.

I’ll start: some crazy buyer requested a modification not long ago, but instead of saying “please change this word as I was traumatized by it as a child” (or similar), they requested that I–this was a $5 gig of course–contact them on Google Hangouts. I have sent them the TOS and highlighted the “hell no, dawg” portion of it and they’ve gone AWOL. Shall I redeliver with a pointed message highlighting the original invitation to explain which of my 10 words was not up to their $5 standards and how I can rectify this, or just wait for a week and bleat to CS about the amazing variety of lifeforms that co-exist with us on this lonely planet?


#2

There was also the client who wanted me to write more about her thing (and “highlight” aspects of it) but not use extra words. I defeated them with cold, sound logic and gained a thank you.

I literally highlighted the relevant words (which matched what they were asking, just not what they wanted) with that garish yellow MS Word Highlighter tool and resent the file while explaining that in order to highlight it with words, I needed more $. My guess is that’s what they literally wanted, they never read the damn thing, or they haven’t, somehow, found the accept and review button.

Aside from that it’s been quite a pleasant week in my little corner of Fiverr.


#3

The usual buyers not considering how it’s not a small thing they are expecting for $5. It never occurs to them. “How fast can it happen?”


#4

I’ve recently had the “I want X amount done, how much?” If only they’d use some common sense…

Oh and “I want you to write double what your gig offers for $5” erm no!

And a rejection because they wanted pictures…when only the basic gig was ordered…guess the extra for images doesn’t give them any clues that they need to order it. Did just send it back with the explanation of more money needed and got a 5 star rating. At least it wasn’t the most difficult or unreasonable buyer ever.


#5

Recently someone dug out one of my old gigs (paused for almost a year) and asked not only for the stuff offered in that gig, but also for the stuff that was mentioned as “I don’t do this, that, or that other thing” in the gig description.

A former seller who doesn’t understand what “gig paused” means and can’t read the gig description.


#6

I recently had a buyer who ordered a custom explainer with extras for adding their logo and website branding throughout.

The only problem? Their order details amounted to just three characters;

“OK!”

Yes, and how am I supposed to create anything out of this?

My biggest beef at the moment though is US based real estate agents.

Seen the movie The Big Short? Well, if you thought the 2008 US housing bubble was a bubble, it’s got nothing on what is in the pipeline. Literally every real estate agent who orders one of my real estate tour videos shows about as much intelligence as a washing line clothes peg.

I ask for the full address details of a property, as many HD images as possible to use to actually make a tour, a google maps link, pricing details and any contact information agents want including as an end scene call to action. The only problem is that only bout 1 in 10 buyers actually follow this instruction.

In this case, I get orders with one picture of a property basement, a message like “we’re listing this for $5,5000,000 but I think we could push that up, don’t you?” - And that’s it.

Buyers then get confused when their videos are delivered minus integral details which they haven’t bothered to include, even when with repeat buyers, I’ve informed them numerous times that I can only create a video using whatever information they send me.

Oh, and then there is a buyer who I have been very good to in the respect that for another gig, I have given then them a special rate of $30 for 1-minute plus explainer videos + accompanying blog articles. However, they recently got all grumpy because I won’t lower the price to $20 due to them ordering on a regular basis.

The truth is, I could rant all day…


#7

Hay !! Emmaki

You will laugh " i also receive queries like " I want to develop a website like Facebook just for 5$ . lol Some buyers think 5$ which they are going to spent on a seller is equal to $5 billion …


#8

Today I have a previously happy buyer who is now deeply unhappy and wants a refund… or else. This change of heart took 10 hours to achieve, so in my opinion it’s one of those cases where they got friends to look over it and oh noes! They don’t like it, so it must be shit!

It’s the weekend! Leave me alone! Either way, I said no and told her that modifications were in place to fix whatever was so ghastly about the writing. This buyer also managed to make a duplicate order, complained about the fees and committed 101 other crimes against humanity*.

*may be a slight exaggeration.


#9

I have nothing to rant about except that I’m sinking in the search results but I don’t care so I am happy thank you very much and guess what it’s Saturday so I’ll be watching football so ha ha ha ha


#10

No major ranting from this direction. I’ve just got a lot to do before I head out Monday for a not-so-vacation to attend the funeral of my mother on Tuesday. One client already told me not to work on her stuff but it’s due on Monday and I don’t miss deadlines. I’ll get it done before I head out.


#11

Sorry to hear that.


#12

My buyers seem particularly trigger happy with that modification button lately. Did Fiverr make it more obvious or something? It’s getting really annoying to have to explain over and over again that if they didn’t put something in the original instructions, I wouldn’t have known they wanted me to include something, and therefore, well, couldn’t have included it. I really wish there was a way for me to remove the ability for a buyer to request a modification. I know that’s arrogant, I know it makes me sound like I think I’m a special snowflake, but I’ve never had a buyer use it properly.

I know that plenty of sellers offer free revisions and there are situations in which this button is necessary, but every modification request I’ve ever gotten has been the buyer telling me that now they’ve seen my work, they’ve figured out what they /actually/ wanted and can I please redo the whole thing to fit these new requirements for free? Or, even better, they’ve seen my work, they decided it was crap, and they don’t want to pay for it. Which is garbage and doesn’t fly with me (you can think something I’ve written is bad, go ahead, but you still have to pay for it; this is discount warehouse, no returns, refunds, or exchanges). I’ve gotten three over the last three days, every time people being like “This has typos,” (but when asked to point them out, suddenly discovers no typos exist), or “I forgot to tell you I need it to include this, this, and this. Add that (even though you already provided us with our word count) and get it back to me.”

It’s the freaking weekend.

On the topic of weekends, it’s also hella annoying when someone messages me on Friday afternoon and asks “I’d like this done in the next two days.” Okay, well, maybe if you’d messaged me that on a Monday, but it’s Friday. I know not everyone observes the five-day work week or a Sabbath, but I do and I think it’s fairly unreasonable for someone to get angry at me when I tell them that I don’t work weekends. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is no situation in which you really need your content in “the next two days.” There is no such thing as a content emergency.

That’s all. For now.


#13

Here’s a rant we can all agree with: today’s prolific spammer on the forum is a moron. Aside from annoying everyone you do not get sales this way.


#14

Which one is that? I was out most of the day, all I can see is a cornucopia of babajis promising to help with marital issues followed by some gibberish (which may well be the best way to solve marital issues!)


#15

He’s taken over this entire Ranting Pot section. He waits until a weekend thinking the mods will be gone. He’s flooded “Fiverr Stories” too.

Baba-ji appears to be a dug up corpse:
http://forum.fiverr.com/discussion/91-9914068352-vashikaran-specialist-in-delhi-aghori-tantrik/

I see the mods have started removing these, THANK YOU MODS~!


#16

Obliged, and posted my own thread. Perhaps a fellow writer will enjoy it :slight_smile:


#17

@misscrystal they are 100% using software to do this and are probably not even reading the forum at all and this is not the only place they are spamming like this.


#18

Damn It!.. The price of cigarettes is too high!


#19

You are welcome for what we’ve tried to do, @Misscrystal, and I’m sure it’s evident we are here. If the spam was manually posted I wouldn’t say the next part, but it’s all computer generated so they aren’t reading.

The past few weeks the forum team has also had difficult nights and weekends since the spam is set to fire at those times. After much lost sleep, hallucinations and near late orders, we’ve had to.turn over the mass spam to Fiverr dev.

Some may be removed to help offer pattern matching to dev, but mostly we are waiting it out. We are doing moderation tasks in general, but prioritizing our lives and gigs for now. We are hopeful to see staff intervention continued after they get their own well-deserved time off. Sorry for the mess in the meantime! :slight_smile:


#20

Duplicate my unconventions, etc. in your reply. I dare you. Hurry before Jijiji buries it! Bonus points for catching 2 mildly secret forum references. How many points did I get?