Fiverr Forum

Red flags. Red flags everywhere


#1

I just freaking love buyers that start off their first contact with something like: “I just got done with another seller and my experience wasn’t good. Hopefully you’ll be better.” Um…great. Like that’s not a freaking huge red flag. Do you know what that tells me, buyer? It tells me that yeah, that other seller might have sucked, but you think it’s appropriate to whine to me about that seller, as if it will somehow inspire me to do better work. It doesn’t. It makes me worry that you were actually the problem, not that other seller. This turns out to be the case like 90% of the time buyers whine to me about how bad another seller was; we start talking and its obvious that it was actually the buyer who was ridiculous and unreasonable, not the seller.

And then you order, and instead of giving me any instructions on the order page, you ask me why my gig duration is set to 25 days and then complain that my actual turnaround time of two weeks just is “way too long to wait for a text.” Well, buddy, here’s the thing. There are people on this website, I’m sure, that can pump out good content at a ridiculously fast rate. I’m pretty fast, but I’m also really lucky to have a full queue and clients outside of Fiverr and just because you want something faster doesn’t mean you’re going to get it faster.

And get real, friend. If you were hiring a writer outside of Fiverr, you’d be lucky to get something that quickly after the first contact, and certainly not at all if you were only willing to pay $5 a pop. You can either get something cheap and good or cheap and fast. You can’t have something cheap, good, and fast. That expectation is probably what is causing you so much disappointment.

And another thing–if you had actually looked at my turnaround time before ordering, you wouldn’t have wasted two days of my time and your time. So…maybe get into the habit of doing that.

Unless the buyer is someone that I’ve worked with for a long time, always overpays, leaves me tips, and gives me great reviews, I cancel an order as soon as someone complains about turnaround time. Being butthurt about the fact that I don’t want to work with you when you’re already whining about my policies before I’ve even written a word for you is ridiculous. I do not understand why buyers get so upset when you try to cancel an order that you know you’re not going to be able to deliver to their satisfaction.

Anyway. Feeling like a dodged a bullet on this one. So many red flags.


#2

+1.

Is it just me or, are the buyers a bit more crazy than usual at the moment? I had a buyer today ask for a cancellation because I didn’t respond to her order. Like, less than 12 hours later (I was, shockingly, sleeping). I just looked at it and you know, no details about the order. Just “you need to sign an nda” and “then I’ll tell you what the order is”.

All combined with a CAPS LOCK MELTDOWN. Spectacular stuff.


#3

I had a woman recently contact me asking me to write something for her beauty salon. For some reason she couldn’t tell me what she wanted and so sent me 5 pages of graphic text about how when she was a teenager, her brother fell out of the back of a moving vehicle and she had to help hold his brains in as he died.

Up until now I still don’t know if the woman was simply a bit off the wall or was someone trying to pull a sick prank.

In either case, yes, I’m noticing a rise in dumb ass people. I’ve turned down lots of work today simply because I haven’t been able to make heads nor tales of most people’s briefs.


#4

I don’t know what exactly is spell, can you explain or show me any example of ?
casting love spell
etc

misscrystal
Me
Please google the word spell. Thank you.

oops
to write anything is called spell?
is that it?


#5

At least you can put spells on irritating buyers if you want to. In fact, maybe you could create a Fiverr seller specific gig called something like:

“I will place a hex on your buyer and make them accept the fact that they are a time wasting idiot who should always tip generously for $5.”

Could be a huge hit.

In fact, you could also add extras like:

“Two candle special - your buyer will be guaranteed to be hit by a golf cart when they least expect it.”

&

“Three candle special - your buyer will be snatched in the dead of night by flying monkeys and deposited without provisions on a far away desert island.”

Personally, I think this could make you mega bucks.


#6

“I just got done with another seller and my experience wasn’t good. Hopefully you’ll be better.”
My translation/red flag filter/adviser software just gave me this translation:
“I am angry at another seller but for reason X i cant take it out of them so now i just ordered your gig so that you can pay for the mistakes of X”

  • Adviser part of the software recommends the following action → Reply with a custom offer "For “enter at least 4 figures here” dollars I will pretend to be the previous seller and let you give me hell for 5 minutes, and then i will apologize for “my” actions while still pretending to be the previous seller. NO REFUNDS.

#7

Ugh! You guys. Another one. I got an order yesterday, the guy paid for 900 words, said, “I need at least 1000 words, and I need it in the next five days.” Instead of trying to explain to him why this was an unreasonable request, especially when he hadn’t even paid enough to cover the words he needed, I just sent through a cancellation request.

He messages me back that it is okay if the order is “late” (meaning that it’s okay if I still deliver it far before the gig’s duration but after his self-imposed, entitlement-fueled deadline). Um, no, thank you, sir, I tip my hat to you and your red-flag attitude and say good day. What I actually did was to decide just to let the cancellation time itself out. I ain’t got time to explain myself over and over again, especially when I’m not being paid to do it.

Today, he declines the request and sends me a message that says, “Okay, I declined your cancellation. Please send me a refund.” Um…what? That is <i>literally</i> exactly what an order cancellation is. I really don’t see how it could be taken any other way. Are you just like…trying to stress me out?


#8

Haven’t you heard? You’re not allowed to sleep. You’re certainly not allowed to have other clients that possible ordered before or are maybe a little bit higher priority because they’re actually nice, reasonable people. Get it together, Emma. It’s actually you who’s gone crazy. Not the buyers. /sarcasm


#9

Sounds a bit like your just being trolled!


#10

Is there a way one can red flag a buyer? I do a lot of gigs, and have had the embarrassing scenario where a buyer conned me twice! I only realized it was the same guy again, after he started the “I am not entirely satisfied with the nine paragraphs you wrote (even though he only had money for three paragraphs) so I am going to ask to cancel” routine. Surely there must be some way one can either “block” a buyer or at least red flag him/her to protect yourself and other sellers in future?


#11

I have a message on their inbox messages, that’s the only way I know to mark a buyer as a problem. I check every buyer against that inbox tag to let me know if they were someone I don’t want to deal with.