Snapshot of a Seller's Fiverr Life


#1

Just wanted everyone to enjoy a quick laugh at what it’s like to be a freelancer trying to sell on the internet. This surely isn’t Fiverr specific, but more of what it’s like to live in the “human” world that we’ve created.

Thank you, 8 lb. 6 oz. little baby, Jesus, for bringing us this daily comedy so that we may all partake in its glory. Now get on that donkey and ride your little ass off you comedian.

I give you, the OFFENDED IDIOT OF 2016, copy and pasted for all its glory.


OFFENDED IDIOT
Hi,

This is the first time I’m hiring a copywriter.

I have a business in the magic tricks / poker / playing cards industry, and we are going to release a deck of luxury playing cards.

I’m looking for the best person who can write the most perfect copy. Features of the playing cards: premium paper stock, custom made inks, ultra smooth finish, gold foil box, hand drawn artwork, over 1 year in the making.

Can you provide me with a super sexy ad copy that makes me convert a lot of potential customers quickly ? By reading the ad my customer should only think about doing the checkout :slight_smile:

Since it’s the first time that I’m ordering somethign like this I’m not sure if you’d be able to provide me a 1-2 sentences sample to see if you have the style/creativity that I’m looking for? (not trying to get anything for free) If you are good, I have a LOT of work for you.

let me know.

Thanks!

ME
No thanks.

OFFENDED IDIOT
Wow. I didn’t meant to offend you in any way. But I feel super bad after receiving your reply. Just wow. The rudest message I’ve ever received. Again, my apologies If I’ve offended the best copywriter in the whole world.

ME
No thanks offended you? Never, ever, EVER walk outside.

OFFENDED IDIOT
Sorry my little Diva.

ME
Now you’re reported for harassment. Have a great weekend!

OFFENDED IDIOT
I will not sleep at night. What a douche.


#2

Wow, he only asked you for a 2 sentence sample? Don’t become an illustrator. I’ve had people ask me for free sample sketches, which can take 30m - 1hr. My response is to send them a $10 custom order - which shuts them down pretty quickly.

He was pretty clever with his replies though. That’s gotta be worth something?


#3

Yeah, I don’t give any free samples out anymore. If someone can’t trust my reviews or spare $5 to pay for a sample, they are not the kind of person I am interested in working with. Besides, what’s to stop anyone just going online and nabbing an existing article?

I do love it when buyers get exasperated when sellers don’t accommodate such needs, though. It’s like they suddenly have their whole world turned upside down.


#4

I had a guy asking me for information on my services and asking a few questions, which I sent him answers to along with screenshots of a few reviews and messages from very happy clients. He responded by saying " wow nice try to trick me into buying your scam."
I’m not sure what he thought unless he didn’t think the screenshots were real.


#5

I had a guy few days ago. Asked for presentation. I had some free time so I made him one slide sample as image. And send him back. He told me that is ok, just doesn’t understand one image on that slide. So I told him that is just random image to fill one slide, it doesn’t need to be that one. So we agreed on job.
I worked on it, upload to order page etc… And next day got bad review… Without explanation at all. Even he agreed on sample before.

This was one weird week with buyers.