The Bad, the Ugly and the Plain Insane--Let's Hear Your Fiverr Horror Story!


#1

Who cares about happy ever after endings. Blah blah blah. I want to hear tales of depraved people from buyers and sellers. I want to hear stories that will send a chill of recognition up my spine. I want to gasp in horror at incredible accounts of dark acts. I want to recoil in fear from someone who’s not scared to go to Customer Support because you can’t do their order.

Mainly though, I just want to hear about awful people. You can make a story up for all I care, I just want to enjoy tutting about the appalling behavior of the other guy. It’s the English way.

PS no names. Just call them a$$hat or something. You may prefer tw**waffle, or an even more unique way of expressing the magnitudes of evil that this dreadful person represents.


#2

I was inspired by this, but there’s not much on there… http://forum.fiverr.com/discussion/ugh-whats-your-best-fiverr-horror-story-and-by-best-i-mean-worst/?view=all


#3

The most horrific usually win for their sheer, depraved persistence. Constant daily threats non stop for over a month until finally being banned and his account removed. He used to post menacing nonsensical rants in broken English several times a day on the forums too during this time.

Then there is the lady who has been sending hateful menacing rants ending by “wishing you and your family the best dear” for years and especially long ones on Christmas and other holidays.


#4

The most horror story of my Fiverr Life is that Story I shared with fiverr somedays ago @Emmaki you already know about that but I will always remember your words Don’t Do any job without Order/Money


#5

Ok, I’ll give my best real and recent one and it’s “based on a true story” but I’m changing it up some because the person used to read the forum. Although I think they don’t anymore but I’ll make some editorial adjustments in case…

Mine was thankfully only a buyer once. It was the aftermath that still gives me visions of stalker terror, a certainty that every time I wake up I’ll find a dead headless platypus in my bed, and a feeling that a drone hovers nearby on my daily trips to the local carrot vendor.

The one purchase looked like a routine “I connected with this guy on the bus and he asked me out but I was a dummy” issue. She had the guy’s name and last sighting but nothing more. She said that he was clearly interested in seeing her again (which I later came to doubt) but she had been shy and demure and walked away giggling like a fangirl at the karaoke bar.

I gave it shot but the name was common. I found her a little info that looked promising, passed it along for a fiver and thought we were done.

She messaged me a week later after having fiery dreams of him and waking with a pining feeling that only a true evergreen can know. She said she had another lead on him. He’d once owned a boat in Yugoslavia 47 years ago. (Substitute your own place and time which is slightly more realistic but not much.) I politely declined to take her money when I couldn’t do anything with that.

A week later came a plea from her. Was there any hope? She needed him. He haunted her at night and came to her in daydreams. He stirred restless feelings in her pancreas. His now years-old face appeared to her in a shining light as he rode a white dinosaur to rescue her from her prison in space on the Alien Werewolf ship. His sword was straight and true and her flowers were grown for him. She would pay me just to write to her that there was hope. I envisioned her buying gigs from me to write nonsense to her and then her leaving me bad reviews for not giving her enough hope.

I said that I was overbooked and sent her links for other sellers who did research, psychic work and romantic advice. She said that only I could help her. She saw my profile picture as a kindly adviser sent to her aid. (Apparently she didn’t read the forum enough to see my blatantly b**chy side.

This went on for a remarkably long time, my biggest fear being that she would place an order the instant I blocked her or just said “STOP!” so I drizzled it in shorter and fewer replies until she finally appeared to give up. I even contacted CS to warn them and sent them some screen shots of the crazy messages. They were never abusive, just insane, so all CS could do was promise to take a look at the situation if an order was placed.

I won’t go farther with my fictional description of the real events, but I will say that the longer it went the more I became convinced that it was a real guy and a real name, but there had never been a sizzle of romance except in the poor woman’s head. Perhaps a kindness paid to a stranger that was misinterpreted in post-divorce years of upper middle-age. I didn’t even want to find the guy because I feared he wouldn’t meet her expectations and she might kill him or send a vampire to his house or something. Or, if he was married now… shiver


#6

I hope for his sake she never finds the poor guy.


#7

Apparently my post has inspired someone to launch an all out attack on my inbox :smiley:
This person has been at it for over an hour now nonstop. It’s fantastic. This hasn’t happened before except for the two times I mentioned.


#8

Just send them nonsense back. i.e. “sorry I couldn’t reply to your message sooner, I was sharpening my teeth on what’s left of my last mortal enemy’s left femur.”


#9

They’ve already accused me of worse things than that.
They threatened to post bad things on my blog only I don’t have one. I just checked and there is someone who has a blog under the name Miss Crystal so maybe they will post them there.


#10

My worst one wasn’t really my worst but I’m pretty sure that I have already mentioned it else where on the forum at some point. My second worst in this case, was a gentleman who ordered my now long gone, “I will convert your ebook to kindle format” gig.

All was well at first. He asked how much it would be to convert x amount of pages, I sent a custom offer and then… Well, I was staggered. His manuscript you see, was a very VERY erotic (and I would go so far as to say hardcore/deprived) piece of pulp about a waitress in a bar who had to present herself pretty much like a piece of swiss cheese to a table of rich businessmen to say thank you for your custom.

I didn’t read all of if. But the bits I did read left me quite horrified in regard to the fact that what I was reading had came out of someone’s mind and that they were about to try and sell it on Amazon. - Also, I’m far from a prude but this really was something.

Anyway, in the process of formatting the word document, my ebook software spat out the real name of the author of the work due to the fact that it was coded into the metadata of the document. (I don’t know if metadata is the right term but it was there).

A little curious, I then googled the authors name only to find that the author in question is a somewhat successful children’s book series author in which he writes about his life traveling around with his pets and having all kinds of adventures.

The above being the case, I delivered the work and advised the author in question that he might want to use an opensource wordprocessor for such work in future which doesn’t ask him to take ownership of the software with any personal information. After all, although I would never do it, it would be very easy for someone to ruin his career by saying “hey look who Enid Blyton has been moonlighting as!”

However, this didn’t go down too well. first, it was a gig cancellation request. Then it was threats of legal action etc. I did attempt to say as clearly as possible that I was only highlighting this information for the authors benefit I think I must have made him loose control of his bowels and he seemed to think I was blackmailing him.

In order not to allow the situation to escalate I therefore killed the gig (it was way to time-consuming to format ebooks anyway) and went on a weeks vacation.

What did I learn from this experience? Simply that it’s best to let people make their own mistakes. Trying to help people out for free just leads to unnecessary headaches.


#11

I just googled this too. It looks like your stalkers crass stupidity is going to make a sweet, butter wouldn’t melt American make up artists life hell for a week or two.

Maybe you should reach out to the other Miss Crystal to warn her? Just say, "Hi, sorry to bother you but I’m a witch from a magical place where everything costs $5 and some of my haters think that you’re me. In this case, run Miss Crystal! Run before they find out where you live! Run for all your lovely life is worth!

Warmest Regards,

The other Miss Crystal"


#12

The fact that I’ve joined fiverr for close to 10 days and made just 3 sales is my own Fiverr Horror Story! :frowning:


#13

That’s a whine, not a horror story. Try again.


#14

I enjoyed the whole noir theme of this story. With a lot of extra padding and a made up crime somewhere in this mess, this has legs as a Kindle bestseller.


#15

plz do this @misscrystal!


#16

That really is a nutter though. Who gets mad about free helpful advice?! Then again, Porno Enid Blyton… client’s an idiot, all PR is good PR. Well, most of the time. The erotica doesn’t sound that out there from your description. Could you share a link (PM obvs)? Not that I am interested–much–but so I can judge it…


#17

I wouldn’t have told him. A bad reaction was predictable.


#18

She mentioned something about already leaving some comments. I may take a look at that blog if I get bored.


#19

You just joined this month and you have 3 sales already?? What’s the horror?
That’s a “success” story for many people, and a very good start.

If those 3 orders were made by creepy greedy demanding unfriendly grumpy a-holes and are now stalking you, then it’s getting a step closer to the horror realm!


#20

taking a bow I’m sure I can make up a pile of crimes to go with this one!