Will try to answer your questions related to sports mainly, other topics I will try answering them too
Tell me all about the upcoming Egyptian Yak-Throwing World Championship. Barney McYakthrower looks like a firm favorite, but I think Chad Dingledangles could pip him to victory after his stunning performance in the Maldivian Yak Attack 2015 Tryouts.
Call yourself a sports pundit? I bet you couldn’t even pass commentary on the Maracellino Bougatsa 2014 Yik Yak controversy. It truly shook an emerging sport to its foundations and turned a lot of people off the sport. It’s very sad, as Yak Throwing was at one point sure to be a new event in the Winter Olympics.
Such a shame. Or what about Bongo Harman, sometimes described as the world’s most prolific yak whisperer? There are rumors in the sport that it’s more than just whispering that’s going on there–but as he is notoriously litigious, I shouldn’t elaborate, Suffice to say, it may not be what first crosses your mind… but it might not be far off that. <taps nose, winks>.
So come on then, sports pundit. Don’t make a mere spectator on the couch out-pundit you!
Who will win the Mongolian Yak Milking Contest this year? It’s the first year they have allowed girls to compete and Anashushska Marnoviniach, although only 14, has impressive biceps due to milking yaks almost since birth:
I have heard that Tina Jabberwockovich is hot to trot with her udderly magical fingers–and as a 87-year-old yak milker who has been pumping away in the nether regions of the yak world since the very first Yak Milking Contest (1946; it was seen as a way to reunite the world with yak love after WWII), she’s pretty stiff competition.
If you ask me, little Anashushska looks a little bit too gleeful–anyone would think this was a funny game! Well it’s not. This is a serious sport as the all-time greats like Tina Jabberwockovich, Maria Mariapolou and Jane “yankin’ yankee” Turtlebaum will attest to.
Having said that, my money’s on the terrifyingly efficient Olga Smirnoff.