Fiverr Forum

This is my lie to you.. Getting Orders In a Flash (Just For Laughs)


#1

NOTE… This is not a trick, this does not work, etc…
So most people ask how to get more sales, well after some idleness, horror movies and peanut butter, I have come up with a way you can get more orders… You will need…
1.Compass
2.Satellite dish
3.Basic English
and whatever you need to have access t the internet.
Here is how it works… Connect the satellite dish to your computer and using the compass map directions to other countries. So if USA is North east from you take note. Once you do that Open your fiverr account and then start to rotate the satellite to the direction where you think most customers come from… In a couple of minutes you will start to see the orders flowing in…
PS. Has the movie Justice League launched yet?


#2

Wait. Is this method FCC-approved? I don’t want to do anything illegal.


#3

Yes this method is FCC, KFC, USB, ABC, XYZ, HTTP and others approved. It’s not illegal. Just make sure you also limit the total number of orders you account can take in at a go or you will get the ‘seller failed to deliver’ review.


#4

Well as long as it is KFC approved, I mind as well give it a try! But I currently have a Netflix account, will that interfere with my orders? I hear there is a potential procrastination risk?


#5

In fact if you have a netflix account you have a higher chance of having all your gigs featured and eventually being TRS.


#6

Oh perfect, then I am well on my way! Haha


#7

But don’t use a splitter this will cut potential sales in half.


#8

There is just so much I did not know! Guess you learn something new everyday! Do you think a tinfoil hat might make the satellite pick up more buyers?


#9

That is a no go zone, it will attract buyers who will keep asking for reversions until you issue a refund.


#10

Hahaha! I was drinking juice while I read this and choked from laughing.

And has Justice League been launched?!


#11

KGB aproved too (I asked them today)


#12

IF you ever make a tin foil hat…photos please!!!


#13

WTF and OMG, also LOL approved as well. And yes, I asked them too this morning!


#14

Thenks for dis teeps. Its helpful for the new cellar like me.

I is plan to offer englis writing services on fiver. I have ordered all da raw material required to start a copywriting business on fiver. I already has internet connection, now all I need is high quality blonde hair. Waiting for eBay to deliver it on top of my doorstep so that my writing career could begin.

Sry I forget to introduce meself. I is Rachel, I is from USA, currently living in another continent.


#15

I have a photo of myself in a tin foil helmet that I made to protect myself. I made one for the cat too. Would you like to see it? I might wear it while trying this great set of commands @phantompower has given us.

Phantompower: I have an idea to add. I got it from a book called Tommyknockers, which is kind of a manual on Fiverr sales but written like fiction. I think that if you were to take about 4022 9 volt batters and solder them together and then wire them to the dish, you will get a higher caliber (.45 or .50) of buyer. This is Texas approved. It MUST be 9v though. 12v will not do any harm, but the buyers get a small shock when they try to order, so it causes negative behavioral conditioning.


#16

YES PLEASE, the cat too!!!


#17

Does the size of the dish matter? What about multiples?


#18

Yes the size also matters. If you have a 60inch then you can only attract people 60 years and below. When you use a multiplier then you will be automatically included in the fiverr levels…
Level 1 => Level 2 => TRS => artlifeoriginal


#19

I think if you actually use a 12 to 48v buyers will be coming to your door to place orders and that will be considered working outside fiverr. So I would recommend maybe 11.99V. Also the tinfoil is a great idea, it can be used to block buyers who order then state it was by mistake and I think it can also be used to put your account in vacation mode without affecting the rank.


#20

Ha haaa… good one