Okay, so I have had a bit of a knackering day. You know the ones where everything just goes wrong? I’m not on about Fiverr, just life in general things like the gas bottle running out on a Sunday, losing my wee dog in the morning after he decided to run off with his giant stray golden retriever girlfriend (my dog’s a chihuahua).
Anyway, I just started on my 6th gig today writing some nonsense for someone’s miracle Amazon product, when I happened to read through some of the reviews to get a customer focused perspective on the product at hand. Anyway, here’s that review and I hope that it makes you smile like it did me.
From Amazon: The most recent 5-star review for the product which I am currently re-writing a description for.
"I will admit, I was skeptical when I first saw this item. Now I am a true believer after seeing it work better than advertised. I had been using the bottle to cure myself of cancer so I was carrying the bottle everywhere I went. It just happened that the day the bottle came in the mail was the 10th anniversary of my grandfather passing away. The whole family went to visit his grave, leave flowers, swap stories, and do some general celebration of his life. As we were about to leave, I took a gulp from the bottle and realized my cancer had been cured with that drink.
Not needing the rest of the water as I was now immortal I simply dumped it out at the base of my grandfathers grave. As we were getting into the car to leave the cemetery, there is a sudden knock on the window. We all look-over and see that it is my grandfather! The water from the bottle had brought him back to life and he was now standing next to the car! Not only did it restore my grandfather’s life force but it revived him with the same energy and look from when he was 25!
Grandpa was upset that we were about to drive off and leave him after bringing him back to life. Grandpa was always full of piss and vinegar, but now with his renewed vitality he punched my dad in the face, pulled him out of the car, and told him to get in the back 'cause he was driving. It is so great to have grandpa back with the family!!! We owe it all to 2 Pack" (I removed the product title to protect my buyers anonymity).
Now I consider myself a pretty darned decent writer (I have books and everything) but for some reason I don’t think that my magic is going to work on this particular product. Do you?