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Top twenty (funny) murphy’s laws relating to fiverr

purity_k

By purity_k
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purity_k Newbie

purity_k

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I have just gained my level one sellers badge, and to celebrate this minor achievement =D> I have decided to write this article – my first on the fiverr forums. When (if) I get to level two, I know I will look back at this story and go “WHAT WAS I THINKING!!” Here goes nothing…



As Pertains Beginners


  1. Although starting a gig is not rocket science, a gig about doing rocket science for 5 dollars would be (literally) out of this world! I know I would buy such a gig :)>-
  2. The gig for which you are very knowledgeable and can perform with your eyes closed will have zero sales 😦
  3. The gig for which you are clueless and have just put it there as an afterthought will be your best selling gig.
  4. The gig mentioned in (3) above will keep you on Google 6 hours a day trying to perfect an art you never thought you would have to do for money.
  5. If you have a SEO gig, you will get 3 – 4 messages daily from people asking if you do Photoshop [-(
  6. If you have a Photoshop gig, you will get 3 – 4 messages daily from people asking you if you do SEO.
  7. If you do BOTH Photoshop and SEO, you will not get any messages and your ‘Orders in queue’ will remain at 0 for countless days :-))



    As Pertains Money


  8. Those funds that were supposed to clear today? They won’t :-"
  9. That level drop that you were supposed to get today for being inactive for two whole months? You will :-"
  10. The day you give out your Paypal email address to a client is the day you will wish you hadn’t.
  11. The client (above) whom you gave your Paypal address thinking they will send you a handsome bonus will do nothing with it. You will therefore have lost BOTH your moonlight and imaginary bonus in one clean sweep =))



    As Pertains Work


  12. Contrary to popular belief, the fear of getting a gig order reigns far superior than not getting one. Imagine if you woke up tomorrow and saw that you have 127 design gigs that you should deliver in 1 day. Wouldn’t you pass out?
  13. The day you are swamped with domestic chores, exams and family emergencies is the day that your gig will FINALLY get featured and you will receive a ridiculously large amount of orders.
  14. The day/week when you are completely broke (landlord on hold) and you are hoping against hope that you will get at least one order – you won’t [-O<
  15. What? There was an earthquake at your place and all power and internet was knocked down for three whole days? Login to see what an 87% cancellation ratio looks like.



    As Pertains Hope


  16. The ‘Vacation’ button is one of the few Godsend applications on fiverr.
  17. An irrational buyer will always hit the ‘Order’ button on your gig. Learn how to handle him/her and you are on your way to big things (and big checks) on fiverr :-t
  18. Abusing those chaps at the support desk on fiverr will always boomerang devastatingly
  19. Respect people with a ‘Top rated seller’ badge. Only God knows how much human cowdung (euphemism) they had to wade through to get there.
  20. AND FINALLY, MURPHY IS A STAFF MEMBER AT FIVERR! 😮



    Did I miss anything? Comment below and add yours or pick any of the above and go like “true, true…” as you ruefully remember a recent experience <)🙂
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celinedesigns Newbie

celinedesigns

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purity_k said: 2. The gig for which you are very knowledgeable and can perform with your eyes closed will have zero sales

 

Hey. What do you mean? Wouldn't this be the opposite of zero sales? I think you mean that 'everyone can perform with their eyes closed' - some people may find things super easy, which others struggle with. Look at me for example, some of the graphics work I do is sooo easy and seriously if I'm honest gets a little boring - but hey, a lot of people don't understand how to use Illustrator, or Photoshop or understand what a vector is. etc.. etc.

 

But yeah! Anyway, nice post. Some helpful things in there.

 

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purity_k Newbie

purity_k

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madmoo said: *The day you wake up feeling incredibly productive and sit down to start on the 4 orders you had in last night as you were going to bed, is the day Fiverr crashes and you get constant 'oops' messages.

Hahaha =)) That happened to me one day. All I could do is ask myself "Why is there a cow on my fiverr page??" PS: The page that says 'Oops' has a cow on it for all of you who haven't had the misfortune of seeing it ~X(

 

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purplebash Newbie

purplebash

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"13. The day you are swamped with domestic chores, exams and family emergencies is the day that your gig will FINALLY get featured and you will receive a ridiculously large amount of orders."



I couldn’t help but laugh. This just happened to me and it was only with 1 Gig… it feels like this only happens to me, actually… life as a student and user of Fiverr is a hard thing to balance! It’s a fun stress, though. 🙂

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