This isn’t a rant as such but today while perusing the Buyer Requests I saw this and was like wtf?
“My fish isn’t cooked the way I like it. Take it away.”
Just wondering what other gems other ppl have come across on Fiverr, whether it be that section, inbox messages, on the forum, etc.? 
Sounds like an easy $5 job to me, and I wonder what the bad review would look like after the failure to go to their home and take away their fish? “Did not take my fish away”–1 star.
I have no amusing stories to share right now… I’ll have to think! I must have some hidden WTF moments hidden away somewhere 
Buyers request. Someone said (in terrible grammar) he had a dog he really loved, and life was hard at the moment, but because of his dog he was happy. Not sure what the request is. And the bigger question is how did this pass the approval progress?
Mine so far was a gig, I think. I saw a gig that offered to resurrect a dead person in 48 hours for $5. The extra fast 24 hour option was a LOT more although I can’t remember how much.
Well, 24 hours makes a lot of difference when it comes to reanimated corpses. I can see why 24h delivery would be priced more. Ideally, you want them to be as fresh as the proverbial daisy, not a few months into the process (when I’m not sure that resurrection would really be much fun for the ex-deceased, who would likely look more like a cast extra in The Walking Dead…)
I saw one earlier in the week asking for a sugar daddy for $5.
LMAO that’s awesome!
That’s one cheap trick… 
Well I’m about to peruse the Buyer Requests market again for some more gems, I’m bound to find something worthy of posting!
I had a buyer looking to have me keep track of how many women he had slept with and the ranking of attractiveness (scale of 1-10) to make sure he averaged at least a 6. He wanted a few other things like making sure he learned how to do a handstand (I wish I could remember the rest it was a few months ago but it was ridiculous, but hilarious)… I thought it was a joke but he was dead serious. I didn’t take that job though.
I’ve had some real weird requests on here…
OK, so I think that it’s going to be very hard to come up with something better than “resurrecting the dead in 24 hours,” but I did find a gig where the seller said that he/she was a “prepositional” graphic designer with years of experience.
I have no idea what a prepositional designer is, maybe it was supposed to be “professional” designer???
Ha Ha Ha … What all people think !!!
Lol these are real good ones… Infact i saw one in our Category(Voice Overs) which said
“Looking for Video of the Voice . Should be Handsome, and sounding professional …Show your creativity while submitting offers …” Offers Submitted 16
lol i had a hard time figuring out if the Buyer is looking for a Voice Over or a Model for a Shoot ? i just couldnt control my laughter that entire day …
"need a family tree doctor who is an expert in brick walls "
Maybe is my English, but I have no idea what this is…
LMAO I cracked up reading this! Too Funny
I think a lot of these must be ppl who can’t speak English properly using Google translate but still, bugger knows how you’d come up with something like this?
I have a feeling this thread will be timeless, so far I’ve had a slow day and one annoying customer who strung me a long for a week just to tell me their keeping their options open (you may say fair enough but they initially sent me the offer, that’s what’s annoying about it) but I come in here and read all your wonderful stories and feel much better! Thanks guys and keep em coming, this is better than watching a really good comedy!
" I'm looking for someone to teach me to roll my r's. ", I even sent an offer...:D >.<Well, I don’t think $5 is at all a bad deal depending on the results. You still get a reanimation in 2 days. If you get a zombie, I’d say that’s not even right. I mean, if you pay and it tries to eat your face, that’s rude. If you get a real resurrected person, though, a couple of days is only a little ripe. To my recollection, the guy didn’t say exactly what you get but I think he had two positive reviews on the gig. That means they survived long enough to complete the gig, right?
I read somewhere that back at 1976 I think or 1967, some shaman or however they call them in Japan, made a zombie. They key was some Japaneses blow-fish. Apparently that fish has a poison which makes a person to appear dead,
like no heart beats, breathing, and significantly damages nerve system, so if person gets poisoned in right amount (where it doesn t die) only the primitive functions of brain remain (half understanding, fallowing orders, urge to eat, pee and poop I guess, and prolly **** e.i. satisfy sexual urge) after a “resurrection”. It is really interesting.