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Well this is a first

A buyer purchased a podcast intro/outro from me but didn’t attach any requirements. They only sent me an audio file of a guy talking for 4 mins. I messaged them to say I couldn’t get started without a script and they immediately sent me 5 messages in a row saying

you need a script??
I don’t have a script!!!
what do you mean you need a script???

I explained that, as the nature of my work is reading words out loud, I require a script to get started.

if I knew all you did was read a script, I would’ve hired someone else


a bit of back and forth went like this:

buyer: I don’t know how I was supposed to know all you do is the recording. I need you to write the script
me: I don’t even provide script writing as a service
buyer: well then your profile is misleading ma’am
me: it says nowhere on my profile that I provide script writing as a service, and says everywhere that I sell recordings
buyer: well then cancel the order and you need to put in your gig description that you don’t do script writing

Should I also add into my gig description that I don’t do wood carving, logo design, and programming?

I’ve asked CS to cancel for me. What a bizarre evening it’s been.


I’ve had so much spam and requests for things I don’t have gigs for (the one most off the mark wanted me to create them a website apparently). I’ve switched on out of office mode for a week, and might extend for another, so I’ll have only returning/regular customers in my inbox and won’t see and have to react to seller spam for a while.


Put that you don’t provide scriptwriting in your buyer requests with a tick box. Add the other three just to be safe …


I’ve had same experiences before where buyers don’t read our gig profiles properly and order without contacting first. Had to cancel multiple orders in the last few months :man_facepalming:


Wow, I got the impression that you did SEO and App development…


I’ll never understand how people take their money and just throw it in a gig without the need to discuss their project upfront. They just expect things to happen, even when they don’t tell you. Like you are a mind reader or something?

Had this happen a couple of times too. I provide 3D animated music videos, so… you know… characters playing instruments or a visual storyline. Then a “client” comes around placing an order to create his computer game or another one that suddenly wanted me to create his online course (with voice over, script writing, etc.).

I’m not offering a $5 service, so I’m always surprised how people throw in hundrets of dollars without the need to talk at least one sentence with me to make sure I’m the right choice or without reading what the gig is actually about.


Ugh, I got someone just like this for my gig! They were a “V.I.D.,” and they ordered a book blurb and epilogue, but then they also expected me to read their entire book and complete the edits their editor suggested. When I told them that would cost more (and that I don’t read the whole book but just take details/summary), they asked to cancel. Thankfully, CS was able to cancel it for me, and the buyer was nice enough to let me request it before just doing a mutual cancellation. I feel for you!


I always thought you baked vegan cakes. I had no idea you do voiceovers! Please ma’am, please remove vegan cake baking from your gigs, SMH


I do this too, but very badly. Did you know you can mix a box of Betty Crocker with a can of soda and it’ll turn out exactly the same as with the eggs and milk? Should I mention this in my gig description?

In my gigs there’s not much to discuss before purchasing unless you’re looking for a really niche sound or have unusual requirements, but if you’re trying to buy something not mentioned in my gig description then yeah, I don’t really get why you would just assume I can do it without asking.

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Really? Wow!

What flavour soda … ? I want to give this a try

This is off topic - but too interesting to let slide …

I know right! What your going through is so relatable. Most of my cancellations are people who think I provide something else. And its literally listed in caps on my gig description.

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ANY FLAVOR! You can use a can of coke, orange soda, lemonade, literally any flavor.

I’ve experimented with a couple different flavors and I think if you want the flavor of the soda to come through you have to use a basic sponge as opposed to a chocolate cake, as the chocolate really masks the soda (in my experience)!

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Very cool - thank you.

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I love how this started off as a rant but morphed into y’all swapping soda stories xD

But on a serious note, I think that you should also add that you hundred percent cannot and will not perform any kind of Irish jigs in your gig description. Because, you know, you don’t dance to buyer’s tunes.

Okay being legit serious now, how do some buyers even think like this smh


Hey, how dare you! I did Irish dance lessons as a kid! I could definitely do one now if the price was right, I think that’s obvious on my gig page :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I had to add “I DON’T DO LOGOS” to my poster gig description because people would occasionally try to sneak logo design in. And they’d do it in such a сunning manner, too. “Here is our logo. We don’t really like it so if you’d want to come up with something better, please feel free to do so.”

I’d, of course, just deliver the design with their logo integrated into it and they’d go: “… but it doesn’t really fit in. Don’t you feel like it should be replaced with something better?”

Yes, I totally feel like building an entire branding package for a big event for $55, why not. I’d love to do that.

I’m convinced these people pretend to be confused. There is being naive or clueless and then there is the reality of life. This line of thinking simply doesn’t fit the reality.


Looool what are the odds xD haha, very well, I stand corrected. You will be dancing to tunes, but only your own :stuck_out_tongue: