Fiverr Community Forum

What's the funniest Buyer Request you've seen?

I think today has to be the funniest day for me with Buyer Requests.

I saw this monstrosity of a request with an abysmal budget.

Hello! PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND DO NOT APPLY IF YOU DO NOT MEET ALL QUALIFICATIONS AS I WILL REQUEST CANCELLATION AND REFUND THROUGH FIVERR CUSTOMER SUPPORT IF NEEDED. Sorry for the intro, but I have had a couple of producers try to work on this song for me and they under performed as you will hear on the track. I have had great experiences on here with other very talented producers, but this job is only for a producer who can create the entire instrumental from scratch including guitars and bass. SONG: “HOW TO RULE YA” REQUIREMENTS: -YOUR OFFER MUST INCLUDE COMMERCIAL USE, 2 REVISIONS MINIMUM AND STEMS AND HQ FILE DELIVERY. I WILL GIVE 5 DAYS AS THIS IS NOT A HARD INSTRUMENTAL. -IF YOU APPLY YOU ARE AGREEING THAT YOU ARE QUALIFIED AND HAVE THE SKILL SET TO CREATE THE ENTIRE INSTRUMENTAL AS IT SOUNDS WITH ALL INSTRUMENTS/SOUNDS/EFFECTS BUT BETTER. YOU MUST RECREATE AT 95% MATCH TO MY INSTRUMENTAL MINIMUM. IF IT SOUNDS BETTER EVEN BETTER! -ONE EXCEPTION IS THE BASS. I WANT TO KEEP THE RHYTHM OF THE BASS, BUT THE SOUND IS A LITTLE TOO GRUNGY/GRITTY (UNCLEAN) FOR THE RECORD IF THAT MAKES SENSE SO I NEED SOMEONE WHO WILL SEND ME 2-3 BASS SOUND OPTIONS SO I CAN PICK THE RIGHT TONE I LIKE, BUT PLAY IT THE SAME WAY ON THE TRACK. -YOUR INSTRUMENTAL MUST NOT INCLUDE ANY STATIC THAT YOU WILL HEAR WHEN YOU LISTEN TO THE TRACK (on bass, guitars, drums- drums, etc.) WHICH IS WHY I AM HIRING AGAIN FOR THIS SONG I OWN THE RIGHTS TO. IT SHOULD BE A CLEAN TRACK WITH A DYNAMIC GROOVE. I’M SURE AFTER HEARING THE INSTRUMENTAL YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. Please listen to track in full before applying as you have to be able to make the entire song from scratch. Also please send me a note in offer letting me know you can do this. Nothing generic. I want to know you hear the problems. I’ll make a decision a day from now so please give me time. Samples always welcomed. Thank you, (Name Redacted)

I decided I’d take one right out of @benedictrm 's book and apply with the appropriate budget, complying with everything that was being asked, for a total of $540. It seemed to me that it would be right price considering what was being asked, the days that would go into it, etc.

I just received this hilarious response and I thought “I have to share this!”.

I’ll tell you now, my rate of $150 is to cover 4-6 hours of work for an original composition and pre-mixed track with 0 revisions and delivered in 1 day, not a project where I would have to sit for about 5 days and be monitored each day whilst I figure out the chords/notes as well as do the sound design. I wish I had opened my eyes sooner. Benedict, you’re doing something right! I’ve got to start answering more to these silly buyer requests.

P.S. Their song was most definitely not great.

17 Likes

Funny you should mention me here as I engaged with this one myself. It is just such an impressive misfire of starting a business relationship. I tried the approach of talking them down a bit and asked if I could hear the track - seeing due to Fiverr’s pet bug I often cannot see attachments on BR. I used my Custom Gig default of $550 as with not targets, no pricing is possible (or remotely wise).

Here is what I got back:

I wouldn’t call myself demanding as my gig says I’ve been through two producers who have fallen short but I’ve worked with some amazing producers on this platform and I appreciate opinions that come after the music is listened to first have a good day.

Followed by being blocked.

Clearly, the “buyer” didn’t even take time to read/understand my reply to the request so probably best that no one ever work with them.

I thought there was potential in the song when I could hear it - I can sometimes see the attachment links AFTER I have sent the response - but it is not the sort of thing that will displace Trailer Swift or Drape off the Spotifry charts.

I do wish Fiverr would fix this Bug that hides attachments as how many people are there out there who think sellers are stupid for asking to hear their song when as far as the buyer is aware they have already shown it?

:slight_smile:

12 Likes

Same here.

Most definitely, the strange part is that if the producers they have worked with were great, why the need to bash on the work they had already received and then look for a new producer?

There was, but judging by the request itself and the way it’s been written, I think it would be incredibly difficult to further develop any ideas with this particular buyer.

That’s so strange, is it also the same when you look at the requests via the app?

3 Likes

I see a lot of, uhm BR that leave little to the imagination (someone looking for a writer who was once a cheerleader and has to describe their experience (fill in the blanks) in such costumes, just saw one with college student now (at least college students are of age, lol)… I think someone wanted a writer to write… close to 100k words in a week or two - and for 90 bucks or so (the most recent like this is 20 bucks for 25k words although for non-fiction which I don’t dabble in so I’m not sure how far that really is from the right price (I’m assuming - VERY.), and of course people asking for entire half-chapter samples if you even want to be considered chosen!

In the end BR seems to be getting worse and worse - I get that everyone is broke especially now, but these are mostly resellers wanting to earn more and more off our work (resellers are fine by default. People wanting two months’ worth of work for very little money aren’t.)

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D #### daibly

I have yet to receive a real order, but some buyer request are kinda odd

I need some images for Legend of Zelda: OoT for a custom MTG deck I’m making. I need first person view in game screenshots to cover as many varied locations (multiples for sub locations accepted) and as many different characters/monsters as you can get. You only need to play up to the Temple of Time and You can do an emulator playthrough (if you own it), if you want to use god mode or have everything available to make it quicker and easier. I don’t have the time to play it all again. If you do, I’ll pay £25 for 200 images.

As I understand it he want some zelda screenshot to insert in his custom MTG deck, If he have the intention to commercialise it don’t sound very copyright friendly

3 Likes

Someone wanted 20 page children’s book illustration with whole 3 pages of requirement then put 20$ as a budget. I thought it was 20$ per page thinking I might as well as slave myself for a measly 20$ for half day work. Apparently he/she wanted whole 20pages for only 20$ lol

6 Likes

It’s a most common things for buyers. actually i have lots of this type buyer on the buyer request section. :expressionless: :expressionless: :expressionless: :expressionless:

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The funniest thing I’ve seen so far.
Screenshot_3

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Not from buyers request, but the funniest request I got:

Had someone asking for a music video. I told him the different packages prices right in the first message and he proceeded to discuss the project, so I thought everything about the pricing was clear. AFTER 2 days of project briefing I had all the information and was ready to start. That was when he asked if there was another way to pay. I was confused asking what he meant. Then he send a long letter about his life, how he’s an upcoming artist, he just needs the chance and he will never forget the people who will help him to get to the top. I ignored most of this stuff and just asked what his actual budget was. He was dancing around this question so much that I was about to end the conversation when he said he is broke but he wants to share his monthy Spotify revenue. He had 4 monthly listeners…

When I rejected him he told me he found out what software I use and he will now master it and become better than I ever could. I would see him at the top (quote). The whole conversation was just so stupid and funny I wasn’t even really mad in the end :sweat_smile:

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People that starts conversations with sir, bro, mate, hope you are doing good etc… Should be avoided. Almost same thing happened to me.

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Haven’t seen any request at all :slight_smile:

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Glad I’m not the only one getting peeved by random strangers calling me “bro” :smiley: It just drives me up the wall. I mean, I appreciate the relaxed tone but it’s not exactly a good way to start a professional relationship with someone.

Not exactly funny but I did have someone ask me about my game video gig. They thought me asking for $40 for a 5-minute video complete with voice-over, copyright-free background music, and originally recorded gameplay to be an absurd price point.

People really don’t get how much time and effort it takes to make decent content.

4 Likes

You have a topic dedicated just to this… There is a lot of madness in BR.

I am sitting on two AMAZING songs, my original work, and I am just saving up my budget for production and development.

https://voca.ro/1aTyYVuRBrmf
and RAP version with more fluent beat
https://voca.ro/1cBVNyEsJ5CX

How much would this cost, average? So I do not get my hopes up in BR.

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:rofl:

I have heard a lot worse in BR. I like the second one best.

:slight_smile:

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isn’t as bad as one of the BR I saw when it a guy who want 10 character model for 10$ so 1$ for each character


I think I won here. I just imagine a redneck yelling “WETSS PSSY!” in a southern accent.

1 Like

Definitely looks like a winner hahaha, some ideas are better left to the imagination.