Yes, No and Maybe--The Miracle of Search and Magic 8 Balls

[emmaki]

To answer your questions, all of them. I know you are a delicate little petal and you need a specific answer, but ho ho ho, Santa Clanswers (deal with it) has come to town and there are no presents for you. There’s a search bar. Use it. Learn.

For those of you who missed it, yes, if you’re crap at your job and get shit reviews, no, you can’t get those removed. Now please go away, forever, and go and be incompetent elsewhere. Then the normal sellers don’t get the fire and ice treatment too. This is your fault, we all hate you, go away.

No mek sells: go away. Learn English, learn unique skill, learn a talent better. Ideally together. Whining = uh… rolling eyes? You’ll sell to other cheap idiots who are trying to scam better cheap people. Note the change of object (grammatically speaking) there, and reflect.

How much $$$ you make?/Where u from = quit the humblebrag, guys. Nobody cares. You’re one rung above meksells. If you must know where we are from, gee golly gosh–profile! That is, if it isn’t lies upon lies.

Change Fiverr! lol. u mad? Sure, you’re giving them 20%, but so is every other tom, dick and harry out there. You are replaceable.

Free gig! Stop… you idiots. Just slit your throat and be done with it. No $, no review, only scams. Get that into your budding marketing skulls for Fiverr. Same for all the “but my job relies on s***e!” well, buddy, time to re-evaluate. Fiverr’s not exactly seller-friendly at the moment. You can get support from one CS… but if it all goes pear-shaped? Mmmm. Lock that shit down with CS, don’t whine on a post from some meksell numbskull. just makes you look like one. Really, it does.

Riddle me this, writer, the great lover of Fiverr and its mysterious ways. Why do you have a post asking randos if its OK to take a 2-3mo break when it apparently but took you one message to CS to politely ask/beg for your former rankings back, after you’d been paused or on vacation (I can’t remember) for as long, if not longer?

This forum is full of bullshit. But the biggest bullshit of them all is that Fiverr isn’t listening. Don’t forget to manually adjust your URL for page 2, children. Don’t forget to complete your gigs for an entire day over what is meant to be just 5hrs maintenance. Sleep tight… don’t let the bed buyer bugs bite too hard–otherwise… boom, u ded.

U ded. If you’re not dead yet, you will probably be dead in 100 years, as will Fiverr. So really, there’s nothing to worry about.

I would like a recipes forum so we can share local recipes for other area. And maybe a friendship area where we can celebrate friendship. Oh wait, that’s a NY event already abandoned pretty much because of the broken forum, isn’t it Bruce? I don’t know, you’re the community manager. Or whatever your unofficial yet offal title is. Sorry about the keyboard, it plays up sometimes.

Most of all, Fiverr community. Let’s stop being lame and gang up together. Sorry if that’s too “communist” for your taste, but that’s how you actually fight the boss. Don’t wanna do it? Fine, I’m happy to let you whine and poke ya.

[emmaki]

As always, inboxers without gig inquiries will be shot on sight.

[writer99025]

Great post, notwithstanding the barbs aimed at me 🙂

[emmaki]

Barbs, what barbs? 😉

[emmaki]

Random thoughts: if Fiverr is packing it down on “unprofessionalism” in friendly talk between sellers (cross-selling, cross-buying, cross-everything but not dressing!), why are all their pro meetups a pissup?

I don’t need an answer. I know. But still. Fiverr, u lamer than a dead donkey propped up by those stretchy chickens on wooden stilts. Just dump the waste already.

[misscrystal]

Fiverr’s not exactly seller friendly at the moment, I think that was the main message here.
A lot of the changes, as well as ongoing bugs. have increased stress.

I can’t complain about customer support, they are doing a great job along with the marketing and other departments.

In spite of these things I’m dedicated to my work here and there is no other platform that I’m aware of that let’s me offer my services to so many people on the internet.

[markp]

wait until tomorrow morning when fiverr goes down for maintenance. The fiverr facebook page is going to look like this. I can guarantee this.:-

Site is down. OMG I have to make delivery. Fix your site soonest. (are you a midwife?)

What is wrong with your server. I can fix it. ( yes, as if if Fiver runs on one server in someones basement. People do believe this)

I am late delivery. please fix your site. ( thats your mum’s fault, not fiverr)

ad naseum.

[jonbaas]

I hate to say this, but the sellers who fail to see the large, glaring blue “there’s maintenance coming in few days” banner on every signed-in Fiverr page (even when signed out!), as well as right at the top of every forum page deserve missed delivery deadlines on Sunday.

I’m ready for the maintenance. Everyone else should be as well.

There has been plenty of warning.

[miiila]

Now what could I complain about…oh right! Don´t make me miss my preponed deadlines with your posts, it´s gonna be your fault, if I´ll get a mean comment and will be forced to accept the buyer’s suggestion to remove the comment, if I refund them, only to realize that they can´t remove the comment and I´ll be left without my revenue and with the mean comment on top…on the other hand…“you will probably be dead in 100 years, as will Fiverr. So really, there’s nothing to worry about.”…yeah, right, thanks for your useful command, Sis, (do I get points for this, as it´s slightly above ‘Bro’?), I´ll make a blue banner with that for my pc background image and resize all fiverr-related windows so that I´ll always see it.
But now back to keeping deadlines in spite of having been and still being sick.
Happy belated St. Fiverrlas’ Day and may the force be with you all against all kinds of bugs!

[misscrystal]

It’s a good thing to keep in mind whenever anything goes wrong: “you will probably be dead in 100 years”. It puts it all in perspective.

[jonbaas]

A charming reminder, to say the least. 😛

[wordandrecord]

PROBABLY 😉

[emmaki]

Well, you could get your self cryovac’ed up until medical tech reaches the point where you can be reanimated, but what’s far more likely is that armageddon will come and your corpse will thaw out and get feasted on by rabid cockroach-dogs scavenging for whatever’s left to eat in the nuclear holocaust.

The rest of us can just shuffle about like zombies, as the descendants of Our Glorious Leaders live the high-life in their underground cities/secret moonbases.

Such is life in the future. Or one of the many possibilities.

I sure hope everyone’s getting those Dec 11 orders in, because the clock is ticking down!

I predict that nothing will change, or we’ll all be back here complaining about a ghastly ‘new look’ Fiverr. I’d prefer the latter, as the feedback complaints are getting boring and it would be nice to have something new to moan about.

[emmaki]

Maybe I’ll mosey on over with my portends that this is a sign of the impending apocalypse? The fifth (see what I did there?) horseman, so to speak.

I hope the SM guy has stocked up on provisions, as it’s going to be a long day/night of dealing with stone cold idiots for him while maintaining an inane ‘gee, but it’s all swell!’ attitude.

[misscrystal]

The real fate of cryogenically frozen corpses is much more mundane. The one company that did it in California went out of business, and many of the corpses have disappeared, probably into the landfull.